


Sweet Disposition

by Dulcia



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes - Freeform, Captain America - Freeform, Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Smut, The Winter Soldier - Freeform, emotion/hurt, steve rogers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 20:46:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6166360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dulcia/pseuds/Dulcia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky Barnes comes back from his undeniably traumatic time at HYDRA with Steve Rogers saving him and offering him help to fight the battles of a new era almost a century later</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sweet Disposition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve finally gets his Bucky back

Steve was tired. His muscles burned after his every move and his joints hurt. He was not only tired physically but he was tired mentally. The weight of finding out that his life long friend was alive crushed him. 

He knew that Fury, Sam and Stark had eyes and ears all over the globe to find any trace of what the world called "the winter solider" but Steve called Bucky. He was tired of seeing documentaries and news reels of The Winter Solider on TV, portraying him in a bad light when he knew that deep down, Bucky means well. Of course everything that had happened was not his fault. He knew Bucky didn't ask for it and that it was Hydra controlling him like a child would protect its favourite toy. 

He had kept his phone on all through the day and all through the night on full volume incase they had found him but after three months of searching, nothing still came up. He was giving up hope. For all he knows, Bucky may have killed himself which then led him into a downwards spiral of over thinking and dread that he hadn't done enough in the time he had with Bucky. 

He had spent countless nights sat in bed, staring at the wall emotionlessly, showing his true self. To the world, the avengers, SHEILD; he was still the strong and confident and bossy Captain America. 

You see, that's Captain America. Steve Rogers is the complete opposite to him. He's weak and he's closed off. He has emotions and he's human, not a fearless solider. 

Sighing heavily, he rubbed his tired eyes and walked around his flat. It was three in the morning and he should of had five hours of sleep already but since the fight of Ultron, he has had insomnia and paranoia at night. The paranoia of a Hydra agent or robot with glowing red eyes would crash through the door or window which is why he had a gun under the pillow on the empty side of his bed and his shield up against the bed frame on the floor. 

He paced the living room floor, rubbing his hands together before sitting down and staring at the chair that Nick Fury sat in the night he was shot. Steve immediately took his gaze from the chair, burying his face in his hands. 

He didn't want to live like this anymore. He didn't want to live in danger his whole life of what could happen. He wants a normal life that any other twenty eight year old would want. "I don't want to be Captain America anymore" he whined to himself, looking over at a framed picture of him and Natasha in their suits after the Battle of New York. Both of them looking knackered and covered in cuts, bruises and dirt but each wearing a shit eating grin. 

Steve shook his head, deciding on trying to get some sleep and walking back into his bedroom with his phone still in his grip. As soon as his head hit the pillow, he felt himself drift off only to be awoken by the sound of his phone ringing. 

He jumped up, answering the call and slapping the phone against his ear. "Hello?" He said. 

"Steve. We have Bucky Barnes."

-~-~-

Steve raced to S.H.E.I.L.D headquarters, the roar of his Harley notifying everyone of his arrival. He quickly parked in his bike, running up the stairs and towards Fury's office. He composed himself before walking in, taking a deep breath. 

Nick turned to face him, his hands folded behind his back and his black jacket waving about as he turned. Steve glanced around other room, expecting to see the winter soldier sat somewhere in the room but he wasn't to be seen. "He's in the holding cell" Nick told him swiftly, moving one hand to scratch his head. 

"What are you standing here for? Let's go" Steve said urgently. 

"A soldier is not to be impatient." Nick scolded. 

"With all due respect, Director. I'm Steve Rogers right now. Not Captain America." He replied, his eyebrows pinched together. Nick nodded, moving around his desk to begin leading him towards the holding cells. "Why's he in the holding cells?" Steve spat, venom lacing his tone.

"We still don't know what he is capable of doing. It's just a precaution, Cap" Nick replied calmly, leaning down to scan his eye to open the holding cell office. "I'm warning you, Steve. Prepare yourself for what you're about to see. It won't pretty." Nick told him. Steve took a deep breath, walking through the door that the director had held open for him. 

He walked into the office, looking through the one way mirror to see his long lost friend sat in the next room. His metal hand cuffed to the wall. Steve knew that he could escape the cuffs just by one flick of his wrist, the amount of power the arm held was immense. His eyes trailed from his arm and to his face, the mask not hiding any of his features; not hiding the cuts and scars littering his face. 

Steve took in a stuttered breath, composing himself before walking back out and watching as Nick pushed open the door that blocked the way to Bucky. "Cap! Don't go in there" Nick's voice warned which Steve decided to ignore. He pushed open the door, watching the figure in the corners head snap up to look at him. 

He was momentarily stunted, staring back at the long haired man who hadn't moved an inch since he had arrived. Steve slowly moved forwards to the chair opposite of the winter solider, slowly sitting down with a hint of anxiety in his chest. 

He knows he shouldn't be worried but seeing his best friend whose mind was wiped and gaze held such nothingness, made him uneasy and uncomfortable. As he relaxed into his seat, he felt the Soviet trained soldiers eyes on his, following his every movement. 

"Hey" Steve began. The soldier didn't reply, just stared at him. Steve took a deep breath, trying to control the shaking of his hand and the jumping of his leg. "What name can I address you by?" He asked, masking his nervousness and showing his solider dominance. 

The winter soldiers mouth opened but nothing came out, his mouth looking like stuttering motions. Steve watched as he struggled to say what he wanted, watching his metal hand clench and unclench with metal whirs accompanying the action. Steve waited for a while, watching as he closed his mouth and shrugged his shoulders with a shake of his head. 

"Your name is James Buchanan Barnes. That name ring a bell?" Steve asked, fidgeting slightly in his seat. 

He nodded, his eyebrows furrowing as he did so. Steve beamed, his smile stretching all across his mouth before he composed himself and then leaned forwards. The solider didn't move and inch. 

"Do you know who I am?" He asked, shuffling in his chair. The other man nodded, his right hand moving to touch his metal one. 

"The man in the river" he muttered, his voice gravelly, like it hadn't been used in days, weeks even. Steve nodded, feeling a tinge of hopelessness. He pulled at his hair, looking up at him again. 

"Do I have a name?" He tried, hoping for the answer that he wanted. 

"Steve Rogers."

-/-/-/-

Steve stood up after Bucky's interrogation. He hardly remembered anything, only a few names which only consisted of Doctor Zola and Steve but it was progress and everyone started at the beginning and worked their way up, even if they didn't remember much. "May I?" Steve asked, pointing to where Bucky's arm was handcuffed to the wall. 

The winter solider nodded, flinching when Steve reached out to unlock it. He pretended not to see it and pretended to not let his confusion portray onto his facial features as he unlocked it, taking the handcuffs away as Bucky dropped his arm, landing heavily on his thigh. There was a moment where Steve felt threatened that Bucky would try to swing at him or knee him in the stomach which never came. Instead the brunette stood shakily to his feet where Steve had only just noticed how malnourished and tired he truly looked. 

"Bucky, where are you staying?" Steve asked, wanting to take the shell of a man into his arms and hold him like Bucky once did to him. The soldier looked at him, his breathing quickening before he leaned against the table, one hand holding his head as the metal one held him up, his eyes screwed shut and his body hunched over. The Captain had no clue what to do. It wasn't appropriate to touch him, he didn't know what to say, he couldn't handle the situation which made him look at the one way mirror before the assassin had managed to stand up and recover. 

"Where are you staying?" Steve asked again but quieter this time, holding his arms out barely just incase Bucky were to fall again. The brunette looked at him and shrugged. 

"Nowhere." He whispered. Steve felt his heart break. A sensation starting in the middle of his chest and flaring outwards. 

"We'll see if director Fury can get you a place to stay" Steve murmured, staring pitifully at his frail, former best friend. He held the door for him was they walked out the holding room and turned to face Director Fury and Natasha Romanoff herself. 

Steve stood up taller while Bucky shrivelled in on himself, hiding his arm as best he could in his tattered jacket. Steve noticed Natasha's expression soften before hardening again, noticing that there wasn't something quite right with the soviet soldier. "He needs a place to stay, sir" The captain ordered. 

Fury squared up, his shoulders straightening and his head raising higher. "No can do, Cap. He is a closed case. He can either get a hotel or go back on the streets. Now, Romanoff, follow" he demanded, swiftly moving around Steve and Bucky who had begun to slump forwards, collapsing onto the floor from being too weak to hold himself up. The blonde crouched down next to him, watching the soldier look up at him with a shiver. "Help me, please" he whined, all sense of hostility gone, just showing the tortured and battered Bucky Barnes. 

Steve nodded, hesitantly putting his hand on his shoulder. "I will, pal. Can you stand?" The soldier asked. Agents and other members of staff were walking past, staring at the two men on the floor. Bucky shook his head, taking in a shaky breath before attempting to push himself to his feet. Steve wanted to smile, the Bucky Barnes from back in the nineteen-fourties shining through. 

Steve helped the man stand, his legs shaking himself when he felt Bucky's human arm swing around his neck. He helped him walk towards the elevator, making him lean on the rails as he pressed the floor button he wanted. People came and go, giving stares that made Steve feel insignificant and ones that had to have made Bucky feel like dirt. By the time they were at the garage level, Bucky was weaker which made Steve worry about how he would be able to stay upright and awake on the back of his bike. 

The struggle to get the thinner man to the bike was unreal. Steve had practically carried him there instead of helping him walk. "Bucky," he said the older man, helping him sit side wards on the bike. The soldier looked at him, his face showing that he was shattered but his eyes cold and emotionless. "I need you to stay awake now, okay? The drive will be less than ten minutes. I promise" he told him. 

The soldier nodded, helping himself to sit on the bike as Steve sat on the front, handing the only helmet to back to Bucky who took it in his own grasp slowly, pulling it over his head but not doing the strap up. "Put your arms around my side" Steve said but neither of Bucky's arms want around his torso, instead he was holding onto the seat from behind. He felt a tinge of sadness in his gut before pulling out of the garage, his bike roaring in the early morning air as they took off back to Steve's flat. 

-/-

Steve had managed to get Bucky to climb the stairs. It had taken almost a quarter of an hour but they got there. The captain pushed open the door to his flat, letting the soldier on who was looking around the room in both panic and awareness in. "It's safe here, Buck." Steve said, closing the door and locking it with a heavy sigh. 

The name Bucky didn't seem to suit the empty shell of a man that stood in front of him. He didn't know how to address him or approach him to offer comfort and guidance. 

He walked towards Bucky shyly, his hands folded together before walking past him. "Follow me" he ordered before hearing the shuffles of Bucky's heavy boots on the floor and the rubbing together of his jeans as he walked. Steve pushed open the door to his bedroom, the bed still a mess from when he had previously thrown off the covers to get to his bike as quick as possible. "This is where you can sleep for a while. I'll sleep in the other room" he told him, walking towards his wardrobe to pull out a jumper and red sweatpants. "You can wear this. I bet them clothes are real uncomfortable" he commented. 

Bucky hesitantly reached out for the clothes with his human hand, nodding as he did so before stripping down before him. Steve froze, not being able to say or do anything before the skin on Bucky's back became exposed, scars and burns littered his small back. Some scars were long, like whips had slashed over his back again and again. Others looked deep, like somebody had taken a long fingernail to his back and tried digging the flesh from under his skin. 

Steve tore away his eyes, quickly walking towards the top of his bed, taking the gun from under the pillow and then his shield by his bed, using it to hide the gun that could trigger Bucky in anyway. "The bathroom is right through that door. If you need me, I'll be right through that one" he told him, nodding at the door that led to the living room. Bucky nodded, sitting on the bed and looking small from how Steve's clothes enveloped his body. 

He nodded to himself before closing the door behind him, dropping his shield to the floor, hearing it make a soft clanging sound from being cushioned from the carpet. He placed the gun underneath the table, securing it with the straps that held it there before grabbing a blanket from the tumble dryer and a pillow which was already on the couch. He toed off his shoes and pulled off his chinos, dropping them to the floor before making sure he had clear access to pick up his shield in case of emergency. 

Only then, he was certain it was safe enough to sleep. Even if the Winter Soldier was under the same roof as him. 

-~-~-

The next morning, Steve woke up dead on eight o'clock. The sounds of metal clanging together or something that sounded like clawing against a metal object filling the flat. He stood up slowly, picking up his shield and creeping towards the bathroom from where the sound had come from. He peered round the doorway, seeing the tired, child-like Bucky Barnes sat on the floor, picking at his metal arm with a toothbrush. His hand slipped, causing the toothbrush to fly through the air and fall into the shower which made the soldier release a cry of some sort, his human hand cradling his head as the metal one sat limply at his side. 

Steve put his shield on the floor, walking into the bathroom riskily before crouching down on the floor, about a meter away from the soldier. Bucky looked up at him, tears streaming down his face, his mouth pulled into a grimace and his eyebrows turning upwards slightly. His hair was in front of his face, making it difficult for Steve to see him properly. "It's okay" he soothed as he reached his hand out towards Bucky's hair. "It's okay. I'll help you, Pal." He whispered, his fingers brushing against his greasy strands of hair. He listened to Bucky choke out a sob, his body convulsing into jerks as he cried. "I'm here, Buck" he whispered desperately. Feeling completely useless as his friend cried against the wall, his metal arm still laying limply on the floor. 

Steve reached forwards, putting his hand on Bucky's right shoulder lightly; patting the flesh there before standing up. "Let's go and eat, you'll feel better." Steve reassured him. Bucky rose to his feet, still letting little but quiet sobs escaped his lips as he followed the captain. "I'll give you something small since I don't know when the last time you ate was. We'll do little but often" he told Bucky, pulling out a seat at the table for him as he said so. 

He ended up making a full English breakfast for himself and some beans and toast for Bucky. He placed the food down on the table with a glass of water each. The brunette looked at him, his hair brushing his cheekbones which caused him to push it back; only to have it fall back on his face. 

He picked up his fork, playing with the food before taking one mouthful. Steve tried not to stare as he ate, making sure to keep his attention on his own food as Bucky ate his own. When he was done, he said "thank you," then went to drop his plate into the sink, sitting back down in his chair and looking at Steve from across the table. The Captain pushed his plate away from him, towards the middle of the table. "I don't want to hurt you," Bucky's gruff voice mumbled, breaking the uncomfortable silence they were sat in. Steve nodded, crossing his ankles under the table. 

"I'll help you if you want it. I know you're confused but I'll help you find yourself again" Steve said, watching as Bucky's eyes meet his, making him shiver under the gaze. The soldier nodded, his left hand moving to be put in the borrowed jumper from Steve, hiding it from their sight. 

"Where do we start?" Bucky whined. Looking at Steve in desperation. 

"The Smithsonian" he stated. 

Within twenty minutes, they were walking into the Captain America exhibit. Both men were hidden in hats and glasses. Not the best disguises but it had to do. Steve led Bucky towards his information board, the same voice drawling "best friends since childhood" filling the air. He watched Bucky look up at the younger version of himself, but only by a few years, visibly taking in every word he was being told. 

By the end of the presentation, Bucky was breathing heavily as his head banged, trying to process all of what he had been told. He fell into Steve's side, quivering. "It's okay, it's okay" he whispered, rubbing his arm as he whined, his eyes scrunched shut as memories of his past raced around in flashes in his head. 

"It hurts" he gasped before feeling his feet being dragged somewhere and then his bum being placed onto a bench. Steve sat beside him as Bucky leaned forwards, holding his head and breathing through his pain. It had to be a minute or two later when he could open his eyes, his troubled ones staring into Steve's worried ones. 

"One more to go to then we can get back home" Steve told him, standing to his feet before walking with the soldier by his side to the room where all the outfits of him and his comrades back in the 40s stood. "Look up there" Steve told Bucky, pointing to the recreations of his Sargent clothes. "You were Sergeant James Barnes of New York, Brooklyn. Your dog tags are there still" he told him, watching Bucky follow his finger silently to the two metal tags that were standing out proudly against the statue. 

Steve looked around and quickly reached up, using his height to his advantage to jump up and swipe the tags from the statutes neck and then drop to his feet silently. "See," Steve whispered, holding out the metal for Bucky to see, his human hand coming to trace the engravings and then putting it back in his pocket again, looking down at his feet with a frown etched onto his face. Steve noticed, deciding he'd do something about it, he put the dog tags over his head and around his neck before tucking it under the soldiers shirt. "Remember they are there, even when you feel like a nobody" Steve whispered to him wisely, gently patting his hand on Bucky's chest where the tags lay. 

"Thank you. Thank you for everything you've done" Bucky said, his voice stronger than a whisper but still quiet enough so only Steve would hear. 

"Don't worry about it, pal. I'm with you 'till the end of the line" Steve told him, even though the phrase made him want to break down and sob at Bucky's feet, begging him to open up and become the Bucky he was seventy years ago even though he knew that it would never happen. No matter what, the Bucky that fell off the train all them years ago would never be one hundred percent there. 

Bucky smiled, forced of course but it was a smile that graced his features and gave Steve a twinge of happiness which made him want to carry on and be strong for him even though he knew himself that one day, he would break and it'd come at full force and knock the people closest to him off their feet. 

-~-~-

After their trip to the Smithsonian, Steve had decided to order a pizza for both men, knowing that Bucky had done too much in one day and that he would be too tired to do much else. "I guarantee that you'll love this. Nothing boiled unless you want it to be boiled, like vegetables and there is enough to make you feel like you'll explode instead of living off of rations and makin' you stay hungry the rest of the day." Steve rambled. 

Bucky took a slice of pizza, staring at it curiously before taking a bite from the side. Steve chuckled and shook his head, taking his own slice and showing him how to eat it. Bucky turned the pizza, eating it the proper way and sighing happily. They watched a movie together, Bucky staying sat up as Steve lay down, his head just inches away from his thigh. He wished that he would brush his fingers through his hair like he used to but it never happened. 

They just stayed like that for the next two hours, not knowing how to act around one another. When the movie was over, Bucky went to use the bathroom as Steve tidied up the living room, busying himself until the doorbell rang through the flat, causing Bucky to fly out into the hall, his body seizing up like he was The Winter Soldier again. 

Steve quickly got between him and the door. "It's just the door, Buck. Don't worry," he told him. "How about you go back to the bathroom and have a shower?" He suggested before putting his hand on the doorknob. Bucky hesitated, walking backwards until he was walking into the bathroom and closing the door again. 

Steve twisted the doorknob, making the door swing open to reveal Natasha stood with her hands behind her back in a pair of jeans and shirt. She looked normal and it was weird to Steve. "Let a lady in," she smirked and let herself into the flat, her hips swaying and her hands moving to her front where she was holding a Manila folder. Steve sighed, sitting down next to Natasha on the sofa as she handed it to him. 

"I know you have him here, Steve" she said with a sensual tone before leaning forwards and balancing her elbows on her thighs. Steve opened the folder and saw his old self before the serum. He was quite shocked to see how thin and small he was before. His thighs are the size of his torso was back then and his biceps could've been the same size of his head. 

"Who?" Steve mumbled, pushing the folder away as Natasha stared at him with a hint of mischief. 

"You know who I mean, cap. The winter solider, the guy who almost killed all of us" she smiled sickeningly sweetly. Steve knew she was manipulating him into telling her something but he wasn't going to let that happen, no. He had much more than himself to protect now. 

"He isn't here, Nat. He left when I got him out of Shields headquarters." He lied, his hands knotting together and his shoulders tightening. 

"Steve, I think you happen to forget that we have eyes and ears everywhere, don't you?" She chuckled, standing up from her seat and moving around the room, making him jump to his feet. 

"I don't forget. I just" he sighed, not being able to continue as she walked into the kitchen, pointing to the cupboard handle. 

"They're everywhere, cap." She said, smirking at him as he fiery red hair hit her shoulders. 

"I don't want them everywhere, Nat. I want my sense of privacy" he muttered back, watching Natasha's every move. 

"Then why don't you quit, old man?" She chuckled, not expecting the response Steve have her. 

"I would if I could, Natasha" he grumbled, sorting himself a glass of water. The black widow seemed to seize up.

"Whys that? People rely on you to save the world. You can't let them down" she argued, watching as Steve turned his back on her as he sipped on the water. 

"I haven't lived a life. I don't know what makes me happy or who I am, Natasha. Sure, I'll help when I'm needed but as of right now, I want to stay out of the public and of SHIELDS eyes." He told her, feeling a tinge of sadness at how true his words were. "I want a break. I'm lost and I want to find who I am and I can't do that when I have missions to do which agents are capable of doing anyway" he added, putting the glass in the sink, managing to forget Bucky was in the bathroom, listening to every word. 

"Steve," Natasha sighed, trying to think of something to say. "Everyone wants to quit at some point. However, our job makes that impossible." She replied. 

"Do you see any threats now, Natasha? Do you because I don't and that means that for as long as possible, I want to have my own life. You can go to Fury and tell him I'm taking a leave of absence" he spat. 

"You can't do that Steve!" Natasha argued, making Steve spin around, meeting her gaze with one that could've killed her ten times over. 

"Yes I can! I am now aren't I!" He shouted, causing Natasha to flinch and Bucky to run out of the bathroom in some of Steve's clothes and his hair dripping wet. 

"I think it's time you leave, Natalia" he said, his voice deep and dark, even sending a shiver down her spine. In a point of self defence, she grabbed the gun from the holster behind her jacket and aimed it at Bucky, taking the gun out of the lock and putting her finger on the trigger. Steve grabbed his shield and swung it at the gun, making it fall from Natasha's hold, her hands flinching back before the shield flew back to Steve. 

"Natasha, go" Steve said, making her pick up her gun, push her hair from her face and leave the flat. Steve dropped his shield and sat on the couch, dragging his hands through his hair before looking up at Bucky who was hesitantly sitting down next to him. "I'm sorry, Buck" Steve whispered, then to his surprise, he felt Bucky's heavy metal arm drop onto his shoulder, patting it before moving it back. Steve looked at the man, his throat feeling like it was tightening up so it was hard to breath because there was his friend from seventy years ago, after all hope of him still being alive, he was there. He might not be the exact same but he was sat next to him and offering him support. He shook his head and stood up, moving to the bathroom and closing the door behind him, letting his tears fall. He wasn't this strong character everyone saw him as. He just had to be brave to fight battles and be strong for Bucky but how could he do that when he couldn't even do that for himself? 

He looked in the mirror and splashed water onto his face before walking into the bedroom. "That dame is a little minx isn't she?" Bucky chuckled making Steve smile. 

"We don't call women dames and minx's anymore, pal" he smiled, enjoying the confused expression Bucky wore. 

"What do you call them then?" He asked, watching as Steve grabbed his pillow and blanket for the couch. 

"Girls, women, ladies. Some other vulgar names too but I don't call them those names. Disrespectful" he said, dropping the pillow and blanket on the couch as Bucky stood up, sorting out the pillows. "What are you doing?" He asked. 

"I'm giving your bed back. I've used it for too long. I'm happy sleeping on the couch" he replied, hiding his metal hand in his jumper pocket as he used his other to sort the blanket out. Steve picked up his shield, frowning as he walked to his bedroom. "Are you sure?" He asked, looking back at Bucky who smiled just like he did seventy years ago, making Steve breathless as the soldier nodded. 

"Sleep, cap. You need it" he chuckled with a wink, making Steve smile at the incredibly good day it had turned out to be. He got changed and brushed his teeth, slipping into his familiar bed that stunk of Bucky in the best way possible. 

Many things may have changed over the years but one of the things that haven't is the iconic smell of Bucky. It sounds creepy and weird but it felt right just swarmed in his smell. It was like two arms wrapped around him and told him that everything would be okay but unfortunately, there weren't any arms but the reassurance felt exactly like there was. 

Two months later. 

Bucky was having one of his bad days again and it broke Steve's heart to see it. How the man sat on the couch not muttering a word and holding his legs to his chest with his human arm and his metal arm tucked away in a pocket so he couldn't see it. 

Steve offered him everything, food or a drink. For him to have a nap or if he wanted to watch a movie but he wouldn't get a reply, only a troubled gasp as Bucky got sucked back into one of his flashbacks. Steve sighed and sat on the couch next to him. 

Over the past two months, Bucky had made a lot of progress. He had been remembering a hell of a lot but when he did, the flashbacks would come at such a force that he would often pass out on the couch or end up sobbing and unable to breath properly, he was almost the same Bucky before the cryo-freeze. Almost. 

Steve continued to watch as Bucky's eyes squeezed shut as another flashback hit him. His hand clutched his head, another sob breaking from his throat. Steve put his hand on Bucky's back, pulling him to his chest as Bucky cried into his chest. He clutched his shirt and sucked in a breath through his teeth before he had controlled his sobs into sniffles. "That was the worst one yet," he cried, clinging onto Steve like he was his lifeline. 

"Want to talk about it?" Steve asked, feeling Bucky pull back before pushing his face into his neck and taking a deep breath. 

"It w-was like I was killing Starks parents again. Everything was so real" he whispered, holding onto Steve again as he hugged him back, rubbing his back and swaying him side to side. 

"I think you need to see a therapist. Just to talk to someone" he said in the quiet flat, holding his breath as Bucky replied.  

"I can talk to you right?" He whispered, closing his eyes and sighing. Steve shut his eyes and held his friend closer, taking in a deep breath because this wasn't how it was suppose to go. Steve blamed himself for Bucky's fate during his time as the winter soldier. He could've saved him from all of what he has and is going through. If only he had reached out quick enough to grab him or had jumped after him because Bucky had always been the one saving him and protecting him and Steve felt like he would never be able to repay him for that. Bucky had to pay for his failures. 

"You can, I'm just thinking about talking to a professional" he reassured, tightening his arms around him, needing just as much reassurance "Just see how it goes." He replied before a knock at the door rang through the flat. Steve pulled away with a sigh then went to the door, pulling it open to come fave to face with iron man. Stark walked in, pushing past Steve and firing a beam towards Bucky which caused him to fall back onto the floor, groaning. Steve immediately body slammed Stark to the floor as Bucky scrambled to his feet and cowered behind the couch. Any other day and he would've been able to cope with this, he might've even been able to fight back but today it wasn't possible so all he could do as Steve wrestled Tony to stay on the floor was cry harder, his head banging as he remembered hydra telling him of Tony Stark. 

Steve held Tony's wrists to the floor as he sat on the mans back, tightening his hold on him as he slowly leaned down to his head. "Bucky hasn't done anything wrong. Leave us be, he is having a bad day and doesn't need this right now" he said calmly just as Tony threw him off and marched back over to Bucky who was scrambling to his feet, jumping over the couch and then proceeding to trip over the coffee table and fall to the floor, sparking something in Tony that made him start cackling. 

"Would you look at that? The oh so majestic Winter Soldier tripping over his feet like a child learning how to wa-" he couldn't finish before Steve's shield hit him in the stomach, winding the older man from the force and closeness he had thrown the shield from. Stark stood to his full height, his suit opening up so his smaller man literally stepped out. He leaned over, putting his hands on his knees as he took deep breaths, coughing before slowly standing up again, looking over at Steve and Bucky. 

"Go to the bedroom, Buck" Steve told him, only to have Bucky stay in his spot on the floor, his metal arm hiding away in his jumper with his other hand shielding his face. "Bucky," he huffed, watching him shake his head, his hair falling into his face. He then turned his attention to Stark, scowling at him. "You've destroyed my home and traumatised Bucky even more. What could you possibly want?" He spat furiously. 

"Just to visit an old friend," Stark replied sarcastically with a smirk that really irritated Steve. "How are you soldier?" He chuckled. Steve, at first thought that it was him that Tony was talking too but he saw him looking over at Bucky, walking towards him and crouching down to his level. Steve looked at the two, watching Starks every move. 

"Get away from me" Bucky choked out before Tony gripped his jumper in his hands and pushed him to the floor, raising his hand to punch him, mumbling "this is for my parents". Steve watched from where he stood as Bucky pulled his metal arm from his pocket and grabbing his arm before he could get hit. Tony's eyes squeezed shut as he practically got thrown across the room. Steve crouched down to Bucky's level, grabbing his metal arm and pulling him up as Tony moved from his place on the floor, not expecting to see the Captain holding Bucky as he tried steadying his breathing from the small sobs that occasionally slipped his mouth. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" he gasped as Steve buried his head into Bucky's hair, rocking him side to side. 

"I think it's time for you to leave, Stark. Don't come back until I ask you to" Steve spat irritably, helping Bucky to the sofa as Stark walked over to his seat in mild shock from the metal armed soldiers response. Cap watched as he got back into his suit, scowling at the older man as he went towards the window, opening it wide enough to fit through before turning back to look at the younger two and then flying through the window. Steve looked back at Bucky, sitting on the coffee table opposite him and slowly reaching out his hand to cradle his cheek, trying to ignore the flinch that accompanied it. 

Bucky opened his eyes, looking at Steve and pressing his lips together before using his human hand to wipe away his tears, staring at the captain in front of him. Neither knew what to say, both of them wearing sorry expressions. Steve took his hand from the brunettes cheek, his hand trailing down to his metal hand before he held it in his own, the cold metal weighing heavily in his hand as Bucky stared at Steve. 

The captain felt over the cold ridges, trailing his hand up his forearm and feeling the way the metal moved as Bucky turned his arm over. "I've never looked at it properly" he told him, looking in awe at the Soviet made machinery. Bucky sniffled as Steve rolled up his sleeve, looking at the rest of it. 

"I hate it," Bucky whispered as Steve put his hand to the collar of his hoodie, pulling it side wards to see part of the scaring where the arm began. Without a word, Bucky pulled off his hoodie and threw it to the floor, leaving him shirtless in front of Steve. He didn't have too much muscle as both of them had focused on getting his weight back to a healthy weight but neither minded. Steve still found him beautiful. 

"I know. I think that if you see it as a thing of beauty then you may see it in a different light" Steve mumbled, trailing his fingertips over the pulled and scarred skin where it joined the metal. 

"How can I? I've murdered hundreds of innocent people with it. It's a weapon, not something to be seen as beautiful" he replied, a hint of bitterness in his tone as Steve stood to sit next to him. 

"I know, Buck. I get it, I really do. I know that you hate it for what you used it as but that wasn't you. That was the winter soldier who was frozen ten times over and brainwashed every time and now look at you." He whispered, one hand on his metal arm as the other was rested on the back of his neck where his hair was down to. "You've remembered more than anyone expected, you have beaten all odds." He whispered quieter, leaning towards him and resting his head on the scarred skin and part metal. "Buck, you'll be okay. You're more like yourself now then before and even though you're struggling with your flashbacks, you're still getting through them" Steve told him, playing with the hair at the back of his neck and tightening his hold around his metal hand. 

"Why? Why stay when you can just throw me out on the street?" Bucky mumbled, making Steve lift his head. 

"'Cus I'm with you till the end of the line, jerk" he said with a light smile, making Bucky smile the tiniest of smiles before he shoved him lightly. 

"Punk" he said, making Steve laugh out loud and Bucky to chuckle along with him as the captain still played with the lads hair and looked down at his shoulder. "Yeah, it still hurts" Bucky whispered, knowing exactly what Steve was thinking. The captain nodded, hesitantly pressing his lips to the pink scars that would never turn a white from the amount of distress the area was given. 

"You'll be okay, Sargent" he mumbled against his shoulder. Bucky leaned his head slightly to the side so he was just touching the captains head. 

"We both will be" he mumbled. 

-/-/-/-/-/- 

Bucky hesitantly followed Steve into the barbers. Fidgeting as he looked round at all the scissors, razors and towels. It was familiar but completely different all at the same time. The cut throat razors were gone and replaced with electric ones that did a quicker and cleaner job, making him feel uneasy and restless. 

"I'll be right next to you, pal. Relax" Steve told him and sat on the sofa closest to Bucky's chair where the hairdresser made quick work of helping him get prepared, getting a quick glimpse of the shiny metal arm that had managed to peak out from his shirt and gloves. The man looked at Steve, gulping and looking back at the rugged soldier then back at Steve who had caught on to what he was trying to say. 

He raised his eyebrows, folded his arms over his chest and cocked his head to the side as if to say, "so what?" The barber nodded to himself before asking Bucky how he wanted it cut then following his orders. During this time, it made Steve think of how he and Bucky were going to be able to go back in the world after the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D was made known internationally. Everyone knew of 'the winter soldier' and this would make it impossible to leave the country unless S.H.I.E.L.D helped them to but that would be impossible as he hadn't been working for two months, not that anyone had came to complain to him. Bucky would be feared by hundreds, thousands even and he could be a target for many other people, not even Hydra. He let out a deep breath and looked up at Bucky whose hair was halfway done. Half his head was his iconic, long and typical 'soldier' hair and the other half which was facing him was his short hair that was the true Bucky Barnes. It made him feel nostalgic as his best friend looked at himself in the mirror, a smile spreading on his lips as he noticed the transformation. He looked at Steve and smiled even wider and God, was it great for Steve to see. 

The long lost smile that he hadn't seen in years had come back, making him look stunning even if he did look kind of strange from his crazy hairstyle. Steve even found himself feeling quite emotional just because of how much Bucky had improved even though he had been through a pretty rough time, especially yesterday. It had only shown that he was improving impressively. 

Steve smiled as Bucky stood up, his hair now completely finished. He ran his hands over his hair, feeling the clean shave on his head that made him quickly envelope Steve into a hug. "I feel normal now!" He told him, making Steve laugh and pull away, pulling out his wallet to pay for his hair cut. "Well, I feel right. Like, I feel like who I'm supposed to be" Bucky added as they walked out the barbers. 

"You look amazing. Honestly, you're Sergeant James Barnes again" the blonde replied, taking a minute to take in his short hair and clean shaven face. "God, you look gorgeous, Buck" he gasped, making Bucky's jaw drop slightly but then a blush to cover his cheeks. 

"Tha-"

"Hands up! Get down!" Bucky and Steve turned around, seeing police, SWAT even some soldiers and S.H.I.E.L.D agents all pointing guns at the pair. Steve looked around him, seeing an agent holding his shield as well as his suit. He frowned and slowly got to his knees, watching as Bucky bit his lip and knelt down next to him. They roughly got hit and shackled up before being thrown into the back of a van, not knowing where they're going on or what is going to happen. 

They were sat next to each other, the handcuffs making it impossible to move their hands. It was like their hands were held in concrete blocks. Steve heard the brunette sigh then felt his head rest on his shoulder, making the Captain frown and lean his head on top of the Sergeants. "We will be okay, somehow" he whispered to Steve, taking the main ground in the situation instead of Steve doing that himself. 

Steve nodded and looked at the black Windows, biting his lip and looking over at the two heavily suited and weaponised agents opposite them. Their faces couldn't be seen through their helmets, Steve could see Bucky and himself in the reflection, seeing how Bucky had shut his eyes as his handcuffed hands moved as close to Steve as they could, trying to comfort the soldier even though he probably needed it more than Steve. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/- 

What felt like hours later, they were back at S.H.I.E.l.D's main base. Steve grunted as he got thrown out of the van, feeling like he was a soldier again back in the 1940's before he became Captain America. If he felt like that then he couldn't even imagine how Bucky felt. He looked over at the man who looked absolutely terrified, his eyes wide as he looked at the building and high tech gear as well as the fact that one man was holding onto his human arm and another holding onto his metal one. 

Steve wanted nothing more than to reassure the man, knowing that everything that was happening now would probably put Bucky back in the fragile state he was in not too long ago.

They got pushed and shoved into the hugely intimidating building, both of them being thrown into an elevator before three buttons being pressed which Steve had no idea where they led to. He looked at Bucky who was looking back at him, biting his lip before pulling on the heavy and constricting handcuffs, only making Steve shake his head with a warning stare. The man huffed, looking out the window as the ascended further up until they felt the lift come to a halt. They were pulled towards another office, one which had 'Fury' on the door, making Steve let out a long, childish groan. "Nice to see you too, Cap'" Nick said, turning to look at both men. Fury waited until the agents took the heavy handcuffs from them, waiting for them to get used to the feeling. 

"When do I get my shield back?" Steve asked immediately, staying stood as Bucky sat down on the sofas behind them. Fury picked something up from behind his desk, revealing the shield and then handing it to the super soldier. 

"I wasn't a fan of them taking it. It's yours whether you are Captain America or not" Fury nodded, "just don't use it unless you need it" he then added as he watched the super soldier sit closely to Bucky. Nick sat opposite them, knotting his hands together. 

"Before I go on my league of absence, I wanted to tell you of your own before some other bastard can come and take my place" he said, making Steve frown. "Barnes, you are a wanted man now. There are people looking for you everywhere and because of this, I'm offering you possible solutions" he told him directly. Steve looked at Bucky who was nodded gently. "One is that you can basically become extinct again, Unknown to everyone. That would mean you'd have to stay out of the public eye," he told them. 

"No" Bucky simply said. "I don't want that"

"Okay. The other is that you live under a new identity. New name, nationality. I'm sure you know the rest."

"No. I just found out who I am. I don't want to have to do that again" Bucky answered gruffly. His voice sounding tired already. 

"Well, your final option is that you become an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. Of course you won't be working for at least another year or so. We want you to get used to living in this century and to have your own private time so that'd mean you'd be on a league of absence along with Rogers and Banner." He offered. Steve looked at Bucky, anxiously awaiting his answer. 

"I'd love that to be honest" he nodded, making Steve smile, fidgeting happily in his answer. "What was the point of bringing us in like that though?" He asked. 

Nick let out a chuckle as he stood up and went to his desk. "I knew you wouldn't come in otherwise so I though 'why not scare them?'" He said with a smile, neither soldier chuckling along as he laughed. "You're free to go, don't get yourself into any trouble and enjoy your time off. Barnes, you begin when you both come back. As of right now, you're both of the radar" Nick finished, making both men smile and stand up to hug each other. 

"Thank you so much," Steve smiled, picking up his shield as Bucky followed him out of the building, not knowing quite how they'd get home. Bucky looked at Steve who was frowning and looking back at the garage of the building. "Follow me" he told Bucky, taking off towards the garage. 

Only minutes later, they were zooming out of the garage on Steve's spare motorbike shield held for them. 

After ten minutes of Steve enjoying the luxury of having Bucky's arms around his waist, they were back at their flat, racing up the stairs to see who would get there first. The winner would choose what they would watch and eat for dinner later that night. Steve got there first, only by a second though, meaning Bucky closed the door behind him in a sulk, throwing himself down on the sofa where he slept most nights as Steve put on a DVD which happened to be Shrek. 

He was pretty sure he had been given it by Stark at a party before the battle of New York, possibly earlier. He sat down next to Bucky, sitting on one of his legs as he got comfortable, shuffling down in his seat before turning his head to look at his best friend. "What are your flashbacks like?" He asked curiously, folding his arms over his chest as Bucky turned to look at him. He watched as the sergeants lips pressed together to form a straight line. 

"Painful" he spoke. "Traumatic. Devastating" he frowned, making Steve frown. "But sometimes, hardly ever, but sometimes they are nice memories. Memories of how life was before the war and Hydra. Of just us two and they are the best type of memories because they have you in them and that's all I need and want" he said sweetly, making Steve blush then attempt to cover it with a chuckle. 

"What don't you remember?" Steve asked, fully facing himself towards his friend, seeing how his expression slowly dropped. 

"Um, I don't remember my family. What were they like, Steve?" He frowned. Steve sighed and shuffled closer to Bucky before taking his metal hand into his own, tracing over the grooves of his fingers and feeling the dents from damage taken out from fighting. They had yet to be repaired but Stark was the only man who could do that but they were obviously in very bad terms. 

"Buck, you were in an orphanage from a very early age. Your parents died when you were just young and you didn't have any other family around you at the time" Steve told him sadly, looking up at Bucky from his hand. "My parents took you in as one of their own" he added, smiling fondly at the memory. 

"Oh," Bucky mumbled, putting his human hand over Steve's, rubbing the blondes hand before moving it to his arm, rubbing the cool metal. 

"You can't feel anything can you?" Steve asked, changing the subject. Bucky shook his head. 

"Just weights and sizes. Not textures or anything" Bucky mumbled. Steve nodded and looked at the soldier, taking his hand to the side of his face and then placing it on the side of his neck. Bucky stared back at Steve, frowning at the mans behaviour. 

The blonde man moved forwards to press his forehead against Bucky's, shutting his eyes and moving his hand down so his thumb could trace over the mans lip. "I am so grateful that you're here" he whispered slowly, feeling Bucky's metal arm hesitantly rest on the captains arm. 

"What are you doing, Steve?" He asked as he felt Steve's breath against his lips, shutting his eyes and waiting for his next action. "Steve?" He whispered. 

The captain sucked in a breath before gripping onto his face slightly harder, pressing his lips against the brunettes, pulling away as soon as he had done so. "Sorry, I'm sorry. Fuck, I'm sorry" he gasped when he saw Bucky's astonished expression. 

Steve watched as Bucky pressed his back against the sofa, frowning as he looked down at his lap. "I, that was very unexpected" he managed to spit out. Steve took in a deep breath, he genuinely thought he was going to throw up from the suspense. He felt strange, he hadn't felt like this in a very, very long time. He had never felt like this. Scared of rejection. 

Yes, he had experienced it before but that was over seventy years ago and before the serum where he had next to no chance of getting accepted into a relationship. He watched as Bucky's frown slowly curled upwards, showing off an almost devilish smile before throwing himself at the younger boy and smashing his lips against his. Steve sucked in a breath through his nose, falling backwards from the force Bucky had hit him with. "I have waited-". Bucky kissed him again, biting his lip eagerly. "So fucking long-" he kissed him again before finishing "for this" then straddled the captain and allowing him to sit back up, the lips tangled and breath mingling as the continued the almost violent kiss. 

They had been waiting for this for over seventy years, this long awaited kiss that should of happened months ago, if not years ago. Steve smiled as Bucky pulled away, gently pressing kisses to the side of his neck and grinding against him as he did so. His breath got caught in his throat as his hands went down to the back of Bucky's jeans, gripping the material there before one hand moved to his short hair, clutching the hair he could that was there, a quiet moan escaping his lips, it was airy and quiet as Bucky bit down on his collarbone. 

Before they got any further, there was a knock at the door, separating the pair from one another. "Fucks sake" Steve muttered as Bucky climbed off of him so he could stand up again. He went to the door, adjusting his pants as he did so and opened the door slowly, scowling when he saw Tony stood with his hands in front of him. 

"Hey," he muttered before Steve sighed, opening the door wider for him. "I know you told me to leave and you know, never come back until you said so, all that overly dramatic bullshit, but I need answers"

"Nows not the best time, Tony. We're busy" Steve muttered, shutting the door and turning around to see Bucky smirking with his metal arm resting happily in his lap and his human arm thrown over the side of the couch limply as Tony sat down on the singular chair in the corner. 

Steve groaned and sat down next to Bucky, feeling his fingers playing with the short strands of hair at the back of his head. "Yes?" Steve asked, attitude lacing his tone, causing Bucky to pull his hair lightly, scowling at him when he went to object. 

Tony rolled his eyes, looking back at Bucky. "Tell me, how my parents really died," he mumbled, catching Steve's eyes roll which he was slightly caught of guard on because Steve was usually very well reserved but this was different. 

Bucky frowned, a familiar throb beginning to hit him. "Um," he muttered, his frown deepening and his lips that had just been on Steve's pressing together. "I was brain-brainwashed. It was an accident," he said. Tony nodded as Steve turned to look at Bucky, biting his bottom lip. 

"Don't force yourself, Buck" he told him, putting his hand on his knee a Bucky's face continued to contort into an expression of pain, confusion and anger. 

"They uh, their tyres were shot out and they lost control," Bucky added, seizing his head in his human hand and his metal arm laying limply on his thigh. Steve sighed then looked back at Tony who seemed conflicted as he bent over his knees, his hair in his hands. Besides him, Steve could hear Bucky suck in a breath. "It hurts," he groaned. "They're taking me again," he muttered, Tony looking at the pair as Steve turned fully around to grasp Bucky's hand and put his hand on his cheek. 

"Breath, Buck. Breath," Bucky heard him saying. His brain being consumed by the flashing memory. 

"In there, soldier" a Hydra agent laughed, pushing Bucky into a barred cell with four other men. He sighed and followed the order, having no other option but to obey. 

A couple memories flashed through his mind before he was laying on a table, trashing around as Doctor Zola and Schmidt poked and prodded him, a burning sensation travelling from the top of his head, through his shoulders and down to his fingertips before continuing down to his toes. "Stop!" He shouted, making Schmidt chuckle and pat his shoulder before saying something to Zola and walking away, Zola following him like a sort of minion, leaving him babbling nonsense until his Steve came into view, taller and muscly then before. "Bucky?" His voice echoed both in his horrendous memory and in real life. 

Bucky got brought back to earth when he saw Steve's troubled blue eyes looking back at him, his hands resting on his cheeks as his head spun, making him feel nauseous and unsteady. "Look at what you've done, Stark. Two days in a fucking row. Are you having fun?" Steve spat as Bucky stood to his feet, wobbling over to the bathroom before beginning to run, the sound of vomiting coming from the bathroom. 

"I didn't mean for this to happen, Cap" Stark whined as Steve went towards the kitchen, pouring a glass of water before ignoring Tony and walking into the bathroom and shutting the door behind him, kneeling at Bucky's side and handing him the water then flushing the toilet to clear it of vomit. 

Bucky sighed and took the water from him. "That felt gross," he choked out, leaning back on his heals and looking at Steve, his face pasty white. The captain stood to his feet, holding his hands out to help the Sargent up. 

"Nasty one, huh?" Steve asked and walked him to the bedroom, putting his glass on the side table as Bucky lay down. 

"Yeah. But I'm fine, I don't need to lay down." Bucky whined as Steve pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead. 

"Let me get rid of Stark. Then I'll be back" he whispered, making Bucky smile and shove his head into his pillow. Steve chuckled and walked into the living room, seeing Stark pulling on his coat. 

"Sorry for the interruption," he said, running one finger over his eyebrow. "I'll be off. Obviously I'm unwanted right now" he said almost insecurely. Steve nodded, sighing and walking towards the door, opening it again soon. 

"I will be seeing you again soon. Later," Steve nodded as Tony wandered into the hall, nodding in agreement, sighing and knowing that he had really pissed Steve off. The captain shut the door behind him, sighing and going back to the bedroom to Bucky. He smiled at the man who had a bit more colour back in his cheeks then before, sitting cross legged on the bed. 

"Is he gone now?" He said in a childish manor before climbing onto his knees and inching closer to where Steve stood at the end of the bed. Steve chuckled and nodded as Bucky's arms trailed up his chest and to his shoulders then back around his neck with a coy smile. The blonde laughed and put his hands on the brunettes hips, "you threw up just fifteen minutes ago" he stated, wrinkling his nose before Bucky snorted, tugging at the short hairs at the back of his neck. 

"Heard of a toothbrush, Stevie?" He retorted, leaning closer to press his perfectly shaped lips against Steve's, starting the kiss off as slow before Steve pressed his chest against Bucky's. The blonde opened his mouth and slipped his tongue into Bucky's, breathing quickly through his nose as the brunette fell backwards on the bed, cackling as Steve fell on top of him, laughing along with him before pressing his lips against Bucky's neck which caused cute peals of laughter to escape his lips, slowly turning into airy and delicate pants. "So fragile like this," Steve said into his neck, sucking just beneath his ear lobe. Bucky opened his eyes, staring up at Steve through his eyelashes, his thighs spreading to accommodate Steve's position and make it a bit more comfortable for the pair. 

Steve inched further down his neck, biting at the junction of his shoulder and neck before his hands moved to the bottom of Bucky's shirt. "This needs off," he told Bucky, in return, making him laugh and pull his shirt up his torso. Steve watched as he did so, drinking up the sight of his rippling abs he had developed, the slight sweat that had built up. 

"It's only fair if you take yours off too" Bucky laughed as he pulled his shirt over his head, Steve obeying and doing the same. When their shirts were discarded, off came the rest of the clothes, thrown all over the small bedroom. Their chests collided again, their lips clashing together and eagerly moving against each other as Steve rubbed his naked crotch against Bucky's, making both men gasp from the newly found feeling. "God, baby you're so good," Bucky whispered. Steve palmed over Bucky's erection, rubbing over the tip in circular motions, making the soldier whine. "Don't tease me. I won't last long" he chocked out as he gripped Steve's bulging biceps. 

Steve smiled and took his lips away from Bucky's neck, moving down his body suggestively before rubbing his lips along the length of his cock, feeling Bucky's legs clench from besides him. "I like being a tease" he said, moving to straddle Bucky's hips, Bucky's throbbing erection slipping between Steve's crack as he rubbed his pert and round butt in circular motions against it. 

"Jesus, Stevie," Bucky almost shouted, his hands gripping the bed sheets as Steve continued the movements, changing his movements so he was rubbing downwards on his cock, leaning down to kiss and nibble at his his lips. "Do you wanna top me," Steve asked, his blue eyes dark from the hormones surging trough his body, Bucky's pupils dilating. 

The soldier nodded softly, swallowing as Steve played with his nipples. "I wanna top you" he whispered. Steve smiled softly at him, pushing Bucky's hair that was matted to his forehead backwards, gently pressing his lips to his ten pecking his nose. 

"You're so astonishingly beautiful, doll" he whispered in awe as Bucky let out a surprised gasp, a shocked smile which lit up his whole face before pulling it back in, only to have the feelings from his words make the same smile grace his heart shaped lips. Just from the mans reaction to the words, he could tell that he didn't believe them or that he was too shy and insecure of himself to think so highly of himself and that hurt Steve because he knew a part of Bucky Barnes would never come back. 

Bucky was in-between himself and the winter soldier and that being that meant that he had forgotten all about how he ran himself off of his self-confidence in the 1940's, this was the realisation that in reality, Steve needed to realise that Bucky wasn't his whole self and he wasn't just 'fine' even if he said so. "I'm gonna take care of you, even if you top," Steve told him, making his smile widen. Somehow, the atmosphere in the room changed from frantic and erratic to calm and loving. Steve's hand went to either sides of Bucky's torso, the brunette lifting his arms to go above his head as Steve looked down at the mans chest and stomach, the small downy hairs on his chest, the areola and his erect nipples. Bucky felt like a God under Steve's gaze as he continued to look at his stomach in awe. 

Steve smiled and slid his hands to Bucky's nipples, playing with the skin as he began to roll his hips again, this time it was not as rushed, making the moment much more intimate. "You sure you want to do this?" Bucky asked him as Steve pressed kisses to his pectoral muscles. 

"Of course, do you?" He asked, pressing kisses higher and higher up his chest as he felt Bucky's cock slip back into his crack. "Buck?" Steve murmured when he heard his lovers voice catch from the subtle movement. 

"I really do, fuck" he gasped when Steve licked up his neck and to his chin, pressing a heated kiss to Bucky's lips, slipping his tongue into his mouth. The moaned against each other as Bucky's metal arm went from above his head, running its way down Steve's muscly body and to his ass, his fingers slipping down his crack and circling around his hole. 

Bucky pulled his head away, looking up at Steve. "You ready?" He asked Steve, an excited smile spreading across his cheeks as he nodded, making a brief smile and chuckle radiate from Bucky beneath him. 

Bucky pressed two of his metal fingers into Steve, making the blonde bite his lip and grimace as they pushed further in. Steve felt Bucky's other hand go his his ass cheek, gripping it as he pushed his fingers in to his knuckles. "I got you, baby," Bucky told him, leaning up to kiss the blondes cheek then neck before his fingers turned to scissoring him open. 

Little did he know that Steve was on a sort of natural high, the word 'baby' making him feel like butterflies had hatched in his stomach and fluttered all through his body, his arms, his shoulders, his legs, even his ankles just to find themselves a home. He smiled and hid his face in Bucky's shoulder, nipping at the skin before the tight scars and the cool metal. "I'm ready Buck" he told the super soldier who nodded, removing his finger and kissing Steve's shoulder as he sat up. 

Steve looked behind himself, looking down at the brunettes dick which was just the perfect size. Not too big that it'd hurt too much but big enough to satisfy. He spread his cheeks, feeling Bucky's hand slip underneath to hold it up for him. "It's gonna hurt," he heard Bucky say, making him shake his head as he felt the tip at his hole. 

"I don't care, Buck." He muttered as he let his legs slid downwards, letting his hole push down against Bucky's dick. The brunette super soldier himself was trying hard not to allow the almost overwhelming desire to push into Steve take over himself, even if the tight, hot and wet rim of Steve's hole taunted him into doing so. For both men, neither hadn't had sex in years. Literal years. It was like they were having sex again for the first time. They were nervous, jittery but they felt alive. Something neither of them have properly felt since coming out of the ice. 

Steve's back and shoulder muscles clenched as he sat further down on Bucky's lap. He got halfway before moving back up again, testing the waters in a way that made both men hum. He licked his lips, lowering himself back down again and dropping his jaw and rolling his head back. He felt Bucky press gentle kisses to his chest, pushing up into Steve's hot ass. "Mm, fuck" he whispered, leaning forwards so his chest was flush with Bucky's. Steve rolled his hips downwards, biting his lips he moaned into Bucky's neck from the relief of being able to sit down fully on his lap. They paused for a moment, Bucky's hands rubbing Steve's back before Steve rolled his hips and smiling as as he watched the brunette stiffen. "Feel so good, baby" he whispered into his lovers neck. 

Steve collected himself, his timid movements becoming much more quicker, riding up and down Bucky's cocks, letting the tip of his cock resting against his rim before dropping back down. "Oh yes, darling. God, baby. So good" Bucky whispered as the bed creaked from Steve's increasing speed, the room feeling hotter as sweat collected in their bodies. He leant down, pressing almost desperate kisses to Bucky's lips as they began to move faster together, Steve's mind clouding over as he felt pleasure hit his system. "Oh, fuck" he gasped, whining and slapping himself loudly on Bucky's hips. He looked down at Bucky whose eyes were clenched shut, his hands massaging Steve's ass cheeks as he met him halfway with his bounces, thrusting into him. 

Steve's hands clawed down Bucky's chest, his eyes closing in ecstasy and his fingers shaking, his toes curling as Bucky's cock brushed over his prostrate. "Ah, yes baby. Fuck, right there. Holy fucking shit!" He shouted, another long moan making its way from the back of his throat to the tip of his tongue. He clenched around his cock, pushing Bucky close to over the edge. Steve felt his fingers shake uncontrollably when Bucky began pumping his cock, making him cry out from the immense amount of pleasure he felt. 

"Buck, Buck, Buck. Oh my God! Bucky" Steve chanted, his legs trembling and his muscles tensing as he dropped his head to Bucky's neck, the pleasure his Bucky gave him causing him to come at such a force that even he saw stars and his vision went white. 

The sensation of Steve's cum splashing on his stomach and chest, coming into Steve, shouting out his name before going lax and his limbs feeling weak as Steve fell down on the bed besides him. Their chests heaving, legs trembling and hands shaking. 

Before Steve could relax, he turned to Bucky, looking down at his chest before collecting some of his cum on his own tongue before turning to Bucky and kiss him, the semen on his tongue being transferred to his lovers mouth. They continued do this until Bucky was clean, lazily kissing until they felt too exhausted to continue. Even with the serum, they had managed to completely wear each other out and it didn't even take an army of aliens, troops of robots or even HYDRA to make them realise how much they truly loved each other. 

The next time Steve woke was at four fifty AM, the bed empty and the sounds of shivering coming from across the room, breath flooding in and out between someone's teeth. He frowned, leaning up to turn on the lamp, the sudden light straining his eyes before he could make out Bucky's figure sat on the other side of the room, a knife in a pillow he was sat by and another in his hand. Steve would want to say he was surprised but he wasn't. However, he was surprised by how Bucky was holding knives and that his shivering was from the quiet cries he was trying to hold back. He slowly stood from the bed, watching as Bucky kept his eyes on the closed door of their bedroom, tears dripping down his cheeks as a sob escaped his lips. 

The captain looked down at Bucky, his short hair beginning to get longer and his stubble growing back again. "Buck," Steve said, kneeling down to his level as he didn't take any notice of him. Steve picked up the knife from the pillow, throwing it under the bed and out of view before running his hand down Bucky's metal arm to take the second knife, having to pry it out of the strong grasp. "You're okay, Bucky" Steve told him, throwing the knife to where the first one had gone before sitting directly in front of Bucky's eye line, putting his hand on either sides of his face, stroking away the cold tears off his cheeks. 

"I'm cold. Steve I'm cold. I'm cold, I'm cold, I'm cold" he chanted over and over, causing Steve to frantically pull the comforter from the bed and wrapping it around Bucky. "I'm cold," he cried, wailing as he tried to peer around Steve and to continue staring at the door. 

"What ya lookin' at, pal?" Steve asked, looking behind him. Bucky didn't talk, just shook his head like he couldn't answer. "Do you think that there someone here?" Steve whispered softly, watching Bucky nod frantically. 

"Cold, cold, cold" we're the only words he was managing to say, pulling the duvet tighter around his body. Steve looked at Bucky, feeling his heart break at the scene. This had to be the worst state he had seen Bucky in. Most times he would be able to snap him out of his haze but this time he couldn't. 

"I'll go see, okay? I'll be right back" he told him, beginning to stand up but then feeling Bucky's freezing human hand grab his wrist.

"No, no. Zo-Zola. He is there. D-Doctor." Bucky told him. There were many things that terrified Steve. The sentimental things like losing his friends and loved ones, irrational fears of spiders and flies, things of that sort but what he was seeing gave him chills tingle down his spine and a sick feeling in his stomach. Bucky looked like a mental patient escape from his room without supervision, his eyes red and wide and his incoherent mumbled that weren't making sense and his body shivering even though the room was warm from the heaters and natural body temperature. 

"It's okay. I have my shield. See, I'll be okay" Steve told him, showing him the shield he had in his grip. Bucky nodded, watching as Steve crept towards the door, his shield held up in front of him. It was very unlikely that Zola would be there and in his apartment but everything that had happened to him and Bucky and of course what he had been fighting in the avengers; he was convinced anything could happen.

He pulled open the door, flicking on the light that showed the living room and kitchen. Nothing had changed, it was still all the same. He wandered further into the room, looking behind surfaces and around corners and finding nothing but a pile of letters on the mat from early morning post. 

He walked back in and saw that Bucky was still sat in the exact same position. He was stiff and tense, but small tremors from his shivers made it impossible for him to sit still. "It's okay, baby. He isn't there. He was never there, Bucky. You're safe and we're safe." Steve told him once his shield was on the floor an far from Bucky's reach. 

"Are you sure?" He asked, his hands creeping out from under the comforter. Steve nodded, looking at him in sympathy as he looked down at the floor in confusion and disbelief before a deep whine ran through his throat and out of his mouth, loud wails escaping him. "What's wrong with me?" He stuttered as he asks Steve in desperation. 

"Your scared Buck, it's normal for this to happen. Especially after what you've been through" Steve told him as Bucky rested his head on his shoulder, his metal hand pressing against Steve's arm, making him shiver from the coolness. 

"This isn't normal. This is delusional and mental and insane an-" 

"Stop, don't get yourself so wound up. Take feel breaths and remember that this is normal. That what you've been through isn't your fault and that everything, and I mean everything will be okay one day. I promise you Bucky with everything I have, that you will be happy again" Steve told him, looking deep into his cold eyes which managed to soften only a tinge from his kind words. 

"You make me happy, Stevie. I am happy. Just a lot of the time it overwhelms me" he said. Steve nodded and pressed a kiss to Bucky's lips. 

"I know. And we will fix it. We will get you a therapist but we need to sleep. We shouldn't be awake for another five hours." Steve told him, jumping to his feet and helping Bucky up along with the comforter. 

They got situated on the bed again; Bucky's head on Steve's chest. His left arm thrown over his stomach as Steve threaded his fingers through Bucky's hair, his mind was causing all sorts of noise in his brain. All his words were mashing together, like a classroom full of rambunctious children. It was so loud that he couldn't hear himself think and it was impossible to get all the words in his head to form a illiterate sentence.

He sighed and used his other hand to rub up and down Bucky's side before kissing his head and shutting his eyes, knowing that he'd still be awake for a while. He'd be haunted from what he had seen this morning that it'd be harder for him to sleep properly again but he had to be strong. He has to be strong for Bucky. He can't have a weak moment or a little blip where he loses the strength he has. It'd help if he had his friends around him but somehow he had managed to chase two of them away. 

The location on Bruce was unknown. Thor was back in Asgard doing God knows what. Fury was somewhere in the world and Tony was in his bad books anyway, along with Natasha. Sam was back in D.C and Clint was playing happy families with his kids and wife. 

He couldn't depend on anyone without feeling like a burden to them and it stung to realise that he didn't have family. That his parents had died decades ago and that Peggy was on her death bed. He bit his lip, Bucky's snore snapping him from his trance. Without thinking about it, he slowly say up, not disturbing Bucky and then grabbing his gym bag before leaving his boyfriend a note of where he would be incase he woke up. 

The gym was his temporary getaway. It'd help him find a release but no matter how long, hard and how many times he hit a punching bag, he would still feel like a weight was on his shoulders from what he had been through. 

He had been through a lot. People seem to forget that. Even himself. 

Half way through his training, he heard his phone buzzing in his bag, ringing on and on while he rushed to answer it. He looked at the caller and smiling at how Clint always managed to ring at eight o'clock in the morning just after his kids school run. "Hey," he said, sitting down on the bench. 

"Hey, Cap. Long time no talk, huh?" Clint's cheery voice said down the phone, making Steve hum in agreement. "Something up? You sound upset" Clint asked. 

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine." Steve lied. "I just wanna get away from it all, you know?" He finished, hearing silence from the other line. 

"You're a terrible liar, Steve." He told him, the sound of a car engine in the background. Steve let out a spiteful laugh, pulling lightly at his hair. 

"Where have I heard that before?" He asked in a tired tone, looking back at the entrance of the gym and then at his outstretched legs and bulging thighs. 

"Look, Steve. Come to safe house. You can bring Bucky and you can have a little getaway. Yeah, me and the family will be there but it'll be good for you. To talk to someone other than Bucky all the time." Clint offered. Steve thought for a moment, nodding to himself before speaking again. 

"Give me a couple hours" 

"That's my man!" He heard Clint cheer on the other line before hanging up, leaving Steve in the quiet of the gym. He picked up his bag, leading himself out of the room and back up to the apartment, praying that he wouldn't find Bucky in another state. Three days in a row was something he didn't want to change to four. 

He pushed open the door and walked towards the bedroom where Bucky still lay. He looked up at Steve, rubbing his eye with his human arm. "Hey, Steve" he sighed before laying down again, watching Steve move around the room and putting a duffle bag on the bed, packing up clothes silently. "Where are you going? Are you leaving? What are you doing?" Bucky gasped, sitting abruptly in his bed and clambering over to Steve, his arm making a racket as he did so. 

"Buck, we're going to safe house," he told him, watching his boyfriend relax before tensing up with confusion. "I'm taking you to meet Barton and his family. A change of scenery and fresh air may be helpful" he told him. Bucky nodded, standing up from the bed and walking to stand behind Steve, wrapping his arms around his thin waist. 

"I am so sorry," he whispered, resting his forehead on the back of his neck where it met his back. "I don't know what happened. I had a dream an-and. God, I just don't know," he sighed, Steve doing the same thing. 

"I'm fine. It's fine. Don't worry about it" Steve smiled, not wanting to complain. He wasn't a complainer and that was why people got irritable with him because his body language tells people he isn't fine but he insists he is. Bucky groaned and pulled away from him, slapping his hands to his face in pure exhaustion. 

"You aren't fine, Steve. You should tell me when you aren't" Bucky told him, watching him spin around and throwing his balled up socks cross the room. 

"I can't tell you because you can't help me!" He shouted, the room eerily silent before Steve took a couple of loud deep breaths. 

"Oh really? Why May that be?" Bucky asked defensively, his hand on his hip and the other hanging uselessly. 

"You're too fragile. You have your own problems and I don't want to unload them onto you to get you even more stressed then anxious then depressed! Bucky, I can deal with my own problems. I did pre-serum and I can after it" he said spitefully. 

"Oh? You did a great job of that when I was the one getting you out of fights" Bucky argued, watching as Steve began to aggressively pack the case.

"Well maybe you should've just left me there" he muttered under his breath, zipping up the case angrily before being pushed down on the bed, feeling a human and metal hand on his back. He flipped over and saw Bucky climbing up his body. 

"Is that what you would've wanted? For me to fucking leave you to die? Because if you got killed then I was better off dead anyways" Bucky spat lowly, furiously throwing himself off of Steve, leaving him speechless as he left the room to go to the bathroom.

Steve groaned, regretting how short tempered he had been with Bucky. He stood to his feet, packing up some of Bucky's clothes as well before shutting it and grabbing his shield, placing them on the floor at the front door before finding Bucky who was now in the shower. 

He pushed open the door and stripped down to join him. Bucky turned to face Steve when he got in, just standing under the spray of the shower. "You really want to know why I'm not fine?" Steve asked, exhaustion lacing his tone. Bucky nodded, his wet and warm hands going to Steve's cheeks and rubbing at the slight stubble that was there. 

"I've not been adjusting to the twenty first century well at all, I don't know what to do when you have an episode and I feel full to the top with guilt when I see them happen because I caused them" Bucky frowned, an incredulous laugh waiting to escape his lips before Steve continued. "I didn't catch you. That'll always be my biggest regret. We would be happy, a-and I fucked it up" he whimpered before casting his gaze down to their feet. This is the last thing he wanted; him crying in front of Bucky. He had to be the mans support system and he couldn't do that if he was the one pouring out these feelings. "And I don't want to burden you with all of my shit because I don't want to have to deal with it when I can't even deal with it myself. I mean, I'm fucking Captain America. I can deal with anything yet I can't deal with my own emotions." He whined. Getting most of his feelings off his chest. Most of them. He heard Bucky sigh before his hands trailed down to his hips, rubbing soothing patterns as Steve his his head in his hands. 

"I know it's hard. But Stevie, the way things worked out. You would've been found in the ice no matter what. If I was alive and hadn't have fallen off the train then I'd be dead or dying now." Bucky said, watching as Steve's hands fell from his face to reveal his sad, ready eyes. "Doll, I'm your boyfriend. No matter what is going on, I just want you to be happy so you tell me these things before we argue or you cry like this" Bucky demanded, pressing his forehead to Steve's. "And Captain America isn't Steve Rogers. Steve Rogers is so much more then that." Bucky whispered around the pattering of the shower water along around them. Steve nodded and leaned forwards, resting his head on Bucky's warm human shoulder and winding his arms around Bucky's smaller frame, sniffling into his collarbone as Bucky pulled them both under the spray, hugging the blonde man closer as they stood in the quietness.


	2. Hymn For The Weekend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve stay with Clint and walk into some unexpected visitors

Steve clung to the feeling of his lovers arms around his waist as he drove towards safe house. Their suitcase secured to the back of his bike and his shield strapped to the front. "We need a car" Bucky spoke mindlessly. 

"Whys that?" Steve shouted over the engine, turning the bike to pull off the motorway. 

"It's quieter, we can talk, more room" Bucky shouted. Steve continued driving, nodding in agreement before turning down a thin and winding country road. 

"We can't afford it," Steve shouted, looking up at Barton's house before the Harley's engine chugged to a stop, Bucky stood up first, waiting for Steve to grab his shield and case. He handed Bucky his shield and intertwined their hands, squeezing it as they walked up to the front door. The captain looked to his lover who seemed to be having the nervous jitters, his lips pressed together and his eyes darting all over the front door.  "Don't worry," he whispered to Bucky before knocking on the door, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles before the door swung open. 

"Steve!" Clint cheered, hugging him quickly before turning to Bucky, nodding to the soldier. Bucky nodded back before they walked into his house, Steve squeezing his hand again. "I hope you don't mind having the guest house, there's only a bedroom and bathroom in there so it's kinda just a room." He told them. 

"No I don't mind. But why is your guest room taken?" Steve asked and at that very moment, Thor came round the corner, a smile brightening up his entire face. 

"Steve, brother!" He shouted, unaware of his own loudness as he barrelled down the corridor as Steve dropped all that he held, including Bucky's hand. 

"Thor!" He shouted back, being hit by Thor's chest then his humongous arms wrapping around his shoulder. "How have you been? What are you doing here?" Steve laughed in disbelief, pulling away so he could pick up his things again, lacing his fingers with Bucky's again who seemed to have been slightly shaken up by the ruckus.  

"I have been great, my friend. I am here on a trip to Midgard, to visit my friends and my Jane before taking out my duties back at my home" Thor told him, smiling at all three men. 

"That's great. I've missed you" Steve said happily as Thor pulled down his shirt that had been riding up his toned stomach. 

"I've missed you too, brother." He said to Steve before turning to Clint. "These human clothes seem to constrict me. Friend, do you have bigger garments?" He asked. 

He chuckled as he led Thor upstairs. "Steve, you know where your going," he told them, throwing a hand up before turning to Thor, "my clothes don't satisfy you do they, dude?" 

Steve shook his head and chuckled, noticing how much he had missed his friends. Bucky looked up at Steve, instantly relaxing when he saw his casual smile. "Let's go," he told Bucky, leading them out of the main house and across to the smaller barn looking house. When they got in though, it was less barn and more hotel. The room was wide and had typical farming decor. 

Bucky lay down on the bed as Steve unpacked, his shield sat on the bed next to Bucky. "I'm so tired," he whined, his metal arm clunking when he threw it over his body so it hit the shield, making the captain smirk. 

Bucky watched as Steve looked around the room. "Sarah woulda' loved it here" he said in wonder, looking around the room and at the decor. Steve nodded, a forced hum and smile accompanying it at the knowledge of his deceased mother. He missed her dearly. Whenever and whatever was a problem, she'd always give the best advice and warm hugs that he wanted back so desperately that he'd do anything he could to get them. 

He put the empty case under the bed, wiping his hands on his pants before looking towards the door. "I'm going for a walk" he said plainly, leaving the house and beginning to walk down to another field, a single tear dripping down his cheek before another fell. He was glad Bucky had decided not to follow him but also alarmed when he felt a heavy hand on his shoulder, immediately knowing it was Thor. 

"My friend, you are sad" Thor stated as Steve dragged his hands down his face, sighing and nodding as he gave in. "Why?" He frowned, sitting on a tree stump as Steve slowly sat to the floor. 

"I have a lot going on Thor. I can get by on my own though, I don't want to trouble you" he replied, resting his head in his hands as tears fell steadily down his cheeks. 

"Trouble?" Thor asked, chuckling in spite. "Friend, trouble is tin men flying around and trying to destroy this realm. Aliens pouring into the sky. When Captain America is weeping, that is when I know something is wrong." He said, a deep chuckle rumbling through his chest. 

"Thor, this isn't the best ti-"

"Nonsense!" Thor interrupted. "Where else will you have a better time? Enlighten me of you grieving" Thor demanded, confusing Steve for a moment, shaking his head before sniffling again.

"I'm just missing my mom, worried for Bucky, worried about what I'm gonna do with my time." Steve whispered, shaking his head in self hatred. "I'm lost, Thor. The star spangled man with a plan is lost, out of time, without a plan. I wish I had never had the serum, things would've been so much more different" he spat. 

"Don't say that, Captain. You speak of yourself so lowly yet you've done so much to serve for your country. You've done very well, Steve. You seem to have lost hope for yourself and those around you" Thor told him wisely. 

Steve sighed as a response, not knowing how to say it in words, shaking his head at himself. "Thing is Thor, I don't know when I did" he told him. 

"You may not know when, or why. It just happens, it slips out of your grasp without knowing but believe me, friend, you'll understand soon." Thor replied, sounding very cryptic. "You'll understand why you should have hope" he said patting his shoulder as Steve shut his eyes and frowned, tears still dripping down his cheeks but not making a sound. Thor frowned at his friend, taking pity upon him and pulling him into a strong hug. 

"I'm sorry" Steve spluttered. "I shouldn't be like this" he said into Thor's shoulder. The taller man pulled away, his hand back on his shoulder. 

"You've been strong, Steve. For the avengers, the world, Bucky. You allow yourself to feel, how you humans say, shit. Go to Bucky, even though you think him to be weak, he is not. He is a strong man, worthy to look after you. That is his role, to be a shoulder to weep on, it's not just yours" 

"You're a wise man, Thor" Steve told him, standing up and wiping off his trousers and then his face. 

"I'm a God," was all he said before they walked back to the houses. 

Meanwhile, Bucky was dreaming, a vision of him carrying a skinny Steve on his back as the smaller lad held onto an umbrella to shield themselves from the rain that came thrashing down around them, a patch of gauze was strapped to Steve's knee with blood seeping out, a bruise on his cheek and his knuckles were bleeding while Bucky held onto him closely, a calm smile on his lips. 

Bucky woke up, seeing Steve walking through the door, a sniffling mess and at that very moment, he saw the young and skinny Steve who was frightened of the world, showing it in his eyes. He would never show it through his body language, he'd never say it. It was all through the eyes and Bucky was beginning to read him just as well a he used to be able to. "Come here" he whispered, opening up his arms for the man who threw himself at him, his body shaking from the sobs. "You're okay, Stevie" he spoke softly and soothingly as the blonde snivelled into his shoulder. 

Bucky was beyond confused. He wondered what had gotten him into such a state like this but then again, Steve never showed what he felt. Maybe this was him releasing all of his pent up emotions. "It's okay, I'm okay, you're okay. I love you, Stevie" he chanted, holding him tight like his mother used to. 

Over time, Steve slowly began to calm down, the softness of the bed and the strength and warmth of his arms around him somehow making somewhere that wasn't home, home. "I'm sorry, y-you d-don't need this" Steve blubbered, feeling a Bucky's hand on his cheek. 

"You need this" he replied soothingly, staring deep into his watery eyes. "You've kept this inside for over seventy years, all that stress of the war, bossing about the avengers, all of that. Just let yourself feel, baby. You're only human" he said earnestly, kissing his forehead before they relaxed on the bed, Steve's leg being thrown over Bucky's as he cuddled closer. 

They stayed like that for a while, Bucky's fingers playing with his hair as Steve dozing on and off until Clint and Thor walked in. Steve groaned and turned to look at their shocked expressions, only just realising that they had been unaware of his homosexuality. "He's my boyfriend, get over it" he said, his nose a tiny bit clogging as Bucky chuckled and stared at them both. 

"Oh, okay. Starks outside, so is Banner" Clint told them without any hint of disgust, he seemed to have accepted them and by the look of how Thor was grinning madly, he was just as happy for them. Steve felt Bucky tense, his hand pausing in his hair before feeling him nod before both men left the room. 

"The one time I thought we would actually get a break" Steve muttered sourly before standing up and going to the bathroom to wash his face. Bucky followed him, using the toilet as Steve wiped down his face. 

"Hush up, doll. We don't know why he's here, might be a visit or something" Bucky sighed and washed his hands, kissing Steve's cheek before placing a soft and comforting kiss on his lips. He pulled him into a hug and swayed them side to side as Steve took in a deep, shaky breath. "Maybe later, I'll make love to you again" Bucky whispered, it sounded romantic and less sexual which Steve was thankful for. 

He smiled coyly before they walked out of the bathroom, hand in hand before walking out and seeing Clint, Thor, Bruce and Tony stood together. "Ah, hello capsicle and ice cube. You both seem very comfortable" Tony said, crossing his arms over his chest. 

"What are we all doing here?" Steve asked in his 'Captain America' voice which may have made tingles run down Bucky's spine, not being missed by Tony's lingering gaze. 

"Nat is missing. There's been no talk from her in the past five weeks,  she always calls the kids twice a week, no matter what mission she's on. Something's wrong, I can feel it" Clint said. 

Steve frowned, pulling Bucky closer to his side before saying, "she's a smart woman, she's the black widow. Can't we trust her enough to get herself out of that situation?" Steve asked, feeling very un-patriotic and very tired. Bucky squeezed his hand, hearing the exhaustion in his lovers tone. 

"She's my friend, Steve. We can't just leave her to fend for herself" Clint argued. Even with the serum, it seemed that it couldn't stop the headache that had built up behind his eyes from the continuous demands of shield and the avengers. 

"C'mon big guy, you'd do it for ice cube here" Stark laughed, making the rest of the group but Bucky chuckle. Steve sighed, rubbing his forehead. 

"I still don't understand why you're all so worried. She's most likely undercover or finding a new name for herself. Just wait another week or something" Steve replied, making the group frown at his lack of willingness. 

"What's up your ass, Cap?" Stark asked, Thor staring at him with understanding whereas Clint was staring at him in betrayal. Steve sighed and took his hand from Bucky's, rubbing his face with both hands before Bucky's voice sounded. 

"Look, he's exhausted. We both came here looking for a break, a holiday and that's what we both expected. Give us a day or two and if you can't wait that long then you'll have to go on the mission yourselves" he said, defending the captain with his spat directed at Stark mainly before putting his hand on Steve's lower back to show support. 

"I agree with him. I mean, Steve is in no fit state to lead a team. Look at him" Bruce frowned, evaluating Steve closed off stance. Thor nodded in agreement, Bucky moving his hands in small circles as Clint sighed, Stark watching as Steve dropped his hands from his face.  

"We do not know, by the time we are prepared the woman may be back." Thor said, his muscles getting in the way of him crossing his arms so instead he settled for them hanging by his sides. Clint finally nodded, watching as Bruce and Tony reluctantly did the same thing. 

"Two days. Get some rest guys" Clint spoke, obviously not happy with the conclusion of the chat but wanting to make some headway. The men went their own way, Bruce and Tony back to the Quinjet and Thor and Clint back towards the house as Bucky kept Steve outside for a little while longer. 

The captain shut his eyes as Bucky's cool metal hand went to the back of his neck, cooling him down as his human hand traced up his cheek. "Don't worry, doll. Let's get some sleep, you need it" Bucky said, leaning up and pressing his lips to Steve's and then leading him towards the guest house again, both of them stripping down to their boxers. 

Once they were in bed, Bucky's arms secured around Steve just like old times, Steve's quiet voice broke the silence. "No sex tonight?"

Bucky snorted and pressed his lips to the back of his neck, nuzzling the short hair there. "Maybe in a bit" he replied before shutting his eyes and falling into a - for once - dreamless sleep. 

They didn't have sex. They managed to sleep through dinner and breakfast, waking up at eleven o'clock and then staying in bed for another hour before a fiery red head walked through the door, her lip busted and a small scar above her forehead. Bucky groaned at the light that had flooded into the room, scooting closer to Steve as the captain froze. Natasha's eyebrows rose at the pair as pieces looked as if they were fitting into place in her head. 

"This is why you were so defensive," she said before sitting down in a chair in the corner of the room, Bucky peering over his boyfriends large body as Steve sat up, grabbing a vest and a pair of pants off the floor and quickly shoving them on. Bucky's eyes darted around Steve's actions, causing him to groan and fall back onto the bed, grabbing Steve and pulling him down with him. 

"Piss of, Widow" he muttered before burying his face in the space between Steve's shoulder and the mattress. He heard Steve laugh then put his arm around Bucky, forcing him to rest his head on his shoulder so he could still talk to Natasha. 

"Where've you been. Clint was literally 'bout to send out a search party for you" Steve mumbled as Natasha played with a strand of her hair. 

"You know, here and there. Looking around for new covers. Not much to be done after SHIELD collapsed." She said, looking at Bucky and Steve's position. "Tell me about you two then. I see why you'd never take any of my offers for dates" she smirked, Bucky perking up and his head lifting off his shoulder. 

"What dates?" He grumbled, Steve turning his head to stare at him fondly as Natasha cackled from her seat. "Seriously, what dates?" He asked. 

"Nat would try hooking me up with random girls but they weren't you so I always denied," Steve explained, watching as Bucky settled again, a quiet 'damn right' escaping from his lips. "Clint know you're back?" He asked Natasha who nodded her head, her red hair flying in her face. 

"As soon as I got here which was about five hours ago" she replied, "You missed Laura's breakfast. They're amazing" she said smugly as Bucky's metal arm flexed as he snuggled impossibly closer while he slipped off to sleep again. "Well you both look awfully cosy. Have a good rest, Cap." She said as she stood up. "You deserve it the most outta all of us" she finished with a gentle smile, which for once wasn't flirty, intimidating or sarcastic. It was calm and kind and refreshing almost. Once she had left, Bucky tiredly straddled Steve, groaning as he lay on top of him with his head on his chest and his groin against Steve's bulging thighs. 

"Baby, we're gonna have to get up soon" Steve told him, playing with the mans growing hair, lifting up a couple strands before dropping them. Bucky nodded and sighed, slowly standing to his feet and rubbing his eyes.  "God damn. I love sleepy Bucky" Steve pronounced, standing up along side his lover. "So cute and tiny and tired" he then said in a baby voice, squeezing his cheek which made him bat the mans hand away and grumble incoherently. 

"Let's get something to eat," Steve said, handing Bucky his clothes. 

-/-/-/-/-

There had been progress over the week Steve and Bucky stayed at Clint's home. Steve had managed to become more sure of a very important, very life changing question he was going to ask Bucky and he had also managed to set up a contract with Tony for the avengers as well as persuading him to repair Bucky's arm, even if that had left off on bad terms in the beginning. 

Steve was with Thor as Bucky packed their clothes for going back to New York for Bucky's arm to be repaired. "You are well now Steve?" Thor asked, referring to the beginning of the week. The captain nodded, his hands behind his back as they walked towards a deserted part of farmland. 

"Yeah, your advice was" Steve paused, "very useful" he smiled, watching as Thor dropped his hammer then pulling him into a bear hug, slapping his shoulder before pulling away. 

"Until next time, Steve. I wish you and Bucky everlasting happiness" he said, swinging his hammer until he had flown upwards, disappearing in the blink of an eye. He looked up at the sky for a couple of second before running back to Bucky who had now been accompanied by Stark, Clint and his two children who were running their small, delicate fingers over his metal arm. He smiled fondly at his boyfriend. He was so good with children, the way he stared at them with such adoration. Steve put his hand on Bucky's shoulder, looking at Tony who was watching the small scene in front of him. 

"Okay then, capsicle. Are we ready?" He asked, clapping his hands together. "Your bike is already on the Quinjet as well as Brucie Bear." Tony told them as Bucky stood up, rolling down his sleeve and leaning into his side. 

"Thanks for having us Clint," Steve smiled, feeling Bucky's arms wrap around him and his lips against his cheek. He pulled away from Bucky, hugging Clint and then saying goodbye to Laura and their children before joining Bruce, Bucky and Tony on the Quinjet to take them back to New York. "You know I was thinking" Steve said as he sat down next to Bruce and across from Bucky. "That we should go find our flat, see what's changed" he told Bucky. 

"Probably been knocked down now, built a hotel on top of it" Tony muttered from the front of the jet. Steve didn't miss the eye roll Bucky had directed at him and clearly Bruce hadn't either from the small chuckle that had emitted from him. 

"Well, a God once told me not to lose hope, Stark. Besides, it was further out the main city so you never know" he replied in a laid back manner, flashing Bucky a wink. They smirked to each other before Tony had changed the subject to himself. 

-•0•-

"Woah, this kind of technology is out of this world" Tony muttered to himself when they had gotten to his tower. All four men in the lad and crowding round Bucky to look at his arm. "Considering it was created back in the forties," he added before grabbing a tiny blow torch and putting it to the metal. 

Bucky wriggled in his seat, obviously feeling uncomfortable in the environment he was in. "What's wrong, ice cube?" Stark asked as Steve walked over to Bruce. 

"Last time I was this close to you I was..." Bucky trailed off, not being able to find the words to form the sentence he wanted to say. 

"Having a mental breakdown?" Tony finished, gaining a tired nod from the super soldier. "I'm not all that bad, soldier. I wasn't thinking straight. When I heard you were alive, I just thought about my parents and how I had sworn to their graves that I wo-" Tony stopped himself speaking, pulling out a drill and putting it to a his arm again. "Never mind. But yeah, I was pissed off but I'm calm now"

"How would I know?" Bucky asked, looking deep into Tony's brown eyes. Tony shrugged, pressing his lips together and touching the inside of his arm. 

"You just would" Tony replied, cutting off the more than awkward conversation. "I had FRIDAY set up your room. It's all soundproof so you can have hard, fast sex with Captain America and we won't hear a thing" he joked, making Bucky flush bright red. "You love him, huh?" He said seriously, quickly staring up at him and then back at his arm. 

Bucky looked over at Steve who was smiling along side Bruce. "Yeah, always have. Even when he was a small thing, he was still my rock" he mumbled. "Always puts others first," he added, seeing Tony nod in the corner of his eye. 

"You know, Cap and I haven't always seen eye to eye but I can tell he loves you a whole lot. Before you came back he only came across as bossy Captain America. I think he is more human now you're back. Of course he isn't at the gym twenty four, seven until we needed him for a mission." He told him. 

"Really?" Bucky said in shock as it was something completely out of character for Steve to do - for him to go off and block out the world - even before the war. 

"Yup, before a mission he was in there, after one he was in there. He got hardly any sleep, ate and drank hardly anything. We all got really worried, then you came along, gave him a reason to live" Tony answered honestly, playing with Bucky's fingers to see the way they moved. 

"What do you mean I 'gave him a reason to live'?" Bucky asked, this whole conversation a new learning curve for him. Tony sighed, leant back in his chair before looking over at his two friends then back at Bucky. 

"A man who lost his best friend in the war, then got frozen for seventy years to wake up a whole other century and having to adapt to that as well as being thrown back into work again, makes a stressed, confused and tired man. Especially since the war felt like it was only yesterday for him when he woke up. He had to deal with the fresh grief of you and to know his beloved Peggy Carter is on her death bed." Tony said, crossing his arms over his chest as Bucky used his human hand to scratch his growing beard as he listened. "Put that all together, you have a depressed man coming right out the other side." He finished, going back to work on his arm. 

This was the only conversation he had, had with Tony Stark yet he head learnt so much. He had found a whole lot of respect for the big headed billionaire. He had to sit in silence for a good couple of minutes to process it all before Steve came and pulled him out of his thought. "I'm going out to run a couple errands. You'll be alright here, right?" He asked Bucky. 

"Don't worry, cap. Bucky and I are best friends. Right, capsicle mark two?" Tony interrupted, putting his hand on his shoulder and making Bucky shake his head and roll his eyes. 

"I'll be fine. Be quick though" he said, tilting his head for a quick kiss before he left. He watched his Captain leave, his broad shoulders swaying as he walked out of the lab which gave Bucky some time to talk to Tony again. "Do you think Steve tried to kill himself in the Red Skulls plane?" He asked. 

Tony frowned, still working on his arm. "It's a possibility. For two reasons. A) he didn't have any reason to live anymore, for what I've seen on his background from SHIELD and children's history books and b) he was still miles from America. He still would've had time to call my father, turn on the auto-pilot which would have given him a safe landing and also, I've seen the plane. I saw that all bombs had been dislodged apart from the New York one which was unable to be deployed." Tony replied, sighing heavily and his throat dry from talking so much. 

"Oh my God" Bucky whispered to himself as Tony rubbed his forehead, muttering that he sounded like his father to himself. 

"He didn't have you though. That must've been his thought. He talked to Nat about you. I wasn't eavesdropping, JARVIS was at the time. That's besides the point, but you were his other half, can't live without your other half so he couldn't live without you" 

"God, I need a drink" Bucky groaned after a couple of seconds. 

"Tell me about it, good Lord. I've never thought so logically before" Tony laughed, breaking the heavy tension as he grabbed another device to smoothen the rough edges and scratches of his arm. 

"You are actually not so bad. Kinda likeable actually" Bucky said over the noise. Tony laughed, turning it off to run his hands over the metal. 

"Well, you'd be the first to say so." He replied, smiling sadly before clapping his hands together, making Bruce jump from across the lab and grip his chest. "Puny Banner. You're the hulk, dude!" He shouted, making Bruce flash him the middle finger. "That was very surprising" he said as he turned the Bucky and then standing up. 

Bucky followed suit, going over to the mirror to look at his newly repaired arm, moving it around and seeing how Tony had sand papered off the red soviet star. "Thank you! Finally got rid of that horrible reminder" Bucky muttered before turning to both men, offering out his hand for Tony who shook it happily. 

"Fresh start, ice cube?" Tony asked, watching Bucky smirk and nod. 

"Sure." He replied before he walked away and back to his shared floor with Steve. He went straight to the living room and saw something incredibly out of place for such a modern building yet it gave him a sense of warmth when he saw it sitting proudly in the corner. He walked up to the record player, picking up an Elvis Presley record before putting it on the player. 

He waited a moment as the record player dropped the needle on the record and began to play 'I can't help falling in love'. He smiled at the  familiarity, swaying side to side as the music flowed through the room at a low quality but he loved it. He turned around, seeing Steve with two bags in his hands. "I never learned how to dance," he told him, dropping the bags as Bucky danced. 

As Elvis' voice rang out 'take my hand', Bucky held out his human hand, pulling Steve to his chest and swaying them side to side. Steve rested his head on Bucky's shoulder, kissing the clothed skin as Bucky swirled them around. Softly singing along with Elvis, serenading his super soldier as the song came to an end. Steve pulled away from his shoulder, looking down at the inch shorter soldier and smiling with pure adoration. "Is this what it was like to dance?" He asked, a hint of insecurity shining through. 

"Well, sometimes the music would be a little more upbeat. But yeah, it felt like this especially when you're with the right partner" Bucky said truthfully as the song continued. 

"I finally found my right partner" Steve whispered, leaning in and kissing Bucky's cheek then jawline then his neck and it was nothing but romantic and loving as they swayed to the gentle rhythm. "Buck?" Steve whispered again, a slight tremor to his tone as he grabbed something from his back pocket and then pulling his body from Bucky but still close enough that their breath mingled. The captain shut his eyes as his hand rose up to show a single silver ring, plain yet beautifully original. 

"Steve," 

"Marry me, Buck" Steve asked, his eyes still clenched shut as Bucky raised his own hands to Steve's face. 

"Steve, open your eyes." Bucky asked, a tear dripping down his cheek as the blondes eyes slowly opened, uncertainty and fear coursing through them. A brilliant smile found its way to his lips, a laugh of disbelief escaping his lips. 

"Yes, yes. I will" he said, engulfing him into a hug and then jumping to wrap his legs around Steve who caught him with no problem at all. Bucky could feel Steve's arms tighten around him, loud sniffles escaping him as he fell onto the couch with him. "Stevie?" Bucky asked as Steve pulled him into a tight hug. He sounded almost demonic as loud laughs left his body. 

"I love you so much" he said, smiling as he pulled away and wiping his face. 

"I love you too, baby" Bucky smiled looking at his left arm, sighing when all he saw was metal. Steve took his right hand in his own, rubbing his fourth finger before he slipped the ring onto it. 

"It may not be the same finger but it means the same thing. I'll wear my ring on my right too" Steve told him. Bucky nodded, looking down at the simplistic ring. He didn't need a huge flashy one and Steve knew that, hence the plainer ring. 

"You know when I saw you with Peggy, I thought that was it. That she'd take you away from me." Bucky said, smiling bitterly. "I know it may not have been the best result, all our time travelling" Bucky said with a small chuckle, Steve laughing along with him. "But I'm so glad it's worked out like this. I wouldn't have it any other way" he told him honestly. 

"Me too" Steve said calmly, taking Bucky's left hand, kissing the metal. "Make love to me, Buck" he asked quickly, so quick Bucky almost missed it. 

"Okay,"

Bucky and Steve retreated back to their bedroom, stripping off their clothes and their toned chests colliding to support their heated kiss, their hands roaming all over each other and rubbing their groins together. Steve fell onto the bed backwards, Bucky settling between his legs. 

When they were done, showered and cuddled up in their sheets with Steve's head rested on Bucky's chest, Bucky took a deep breath and squeezed Steve's hand. "You alright, Steve?" He asked, causing Steve to look up at him, frowning in confusion. 

"I'm fine, I'm great" he replied, kissing Bucky's nipple and sighing contently. Bucky wanted to press the matter further but he didn't want to spoil their intimate moment. "Love you, Buck" Steve whimpered, snuggling impossibly closer to his lover and squeezing his side gently before shutting his eyes and breathing in Bucky's warm scent. 

The next day, Steve and Bucky had ventured out of the Stark building to make their way back to Brooklyn,  finding out what has changed since them living there. Of course it was modernised, new buildings everywhere but their street was still there, the weak buildings rotting and crumbling around them. "This is sad" Steve pouted as they walked up the stairs to their old apartment, Bucky's metal hand clasped around Steve's as he hummed in agreement. 

They then found themselves stood in front of their old door, staring at it in anticipation and anxiety. Steve pushed open the door, walking in and almost crying at how little their small, one bedroomed flat had changed. Bucky pulled his hand away, walking towards the bedroom as Steve looked down at the rotting sofa. "You'd think that since you're Captain America that they'd preserve it" Bucky's voice called out. 

"They didn't know, Buck." He replied sentimentally as he thumbed over an old, tatty blanked that he and Bucky used to huddle under in the colder months. He sighed and pulled open a drawer at the side of the sofa, looking down at all the old, unusable pens and paper he had stashed there. He picked up a pencil, feeling the dampness of it before it bent in his grip then crumbling to the moulding floors. He watched as it fell before walking towards the kitchen. "It's strange that in all seventy years, they still haven't knocked it down and just let the building be open to anyone" Steve said through the flat. 

"I know. It's weird" Bucky replied, his footsteps echoing in the room to alert Steve that he was in the same room together. Steve looked down at the old, rust pots and pans with only a couple of cupboards and a dirty, bug infested oven as they hadn't owned a fridge before. "This isn't what I thought it'd be like." Bucky whispered, hugging the blonde from behind and kissing the nape of his neck while Steve took his right hand and pressed his lips to his ring, making him smile softly as the building creaked around them. 

"What'd you think it'd be like?" He asked, taking in a deep breath of dampness, practically smelling the dust around them. 

"A little more... I don't know. Just not this. I thought it'd be preserved or maybe just a bit better in condition, y'know" Bucky replied, shutting his eyes. 

"Yeah, I see what you mean." He said softly, chuckling quietly at himself. "I thought there would be something slightly more salvageable" he said in a lighter tone. Bucky pulled away, digging into his pocket and displaying a small and dirty bag; offering it to Steve. He took it carefully, opening it and pulling out a metal chain with his own two dog tags on the end.  

"Found these in a shoebox under your bed" Bucky told him, pushing his longer fringe from his face. Steve smiled and thumbed over the rusting metal, reading the small numbers and letters as Bucky watched. 

"I thought SHIELD took them" he said quietly as Bucky shook his head. 

"Must've been replicas" he replied, pulling out a draw and shuffling through them. Steve put the dog tags into his pocket, sighing heavily as he opened a cupboard to see a family of rats hiding inside, causing him to slam the door closed again. Bucky chuckled, "you never did like rats."

"Do you wanna go? This place is making me feel..." Steve trailed off, holding his breath as Bucky threaded his fingers with his. 

"Emotional." He completed. 

"And uncomfortable" Steve added, making Bucky frown as they left the flat, gently closing the door behind them. 

"Why uncomfortable?" He asked, walking down the stairs and towards Steve's bike. 

"It's just... so much happened there for both of us and now it's in that condition, it hurts. It shouldn't be like that" he replied as Bucky sat sideways on the bike to face Steve. 

"I know but it's not like we could help it. It would've happened if we had lived in back in the forties" Bucky replied, his legs opening as Steve leaned down and between his legs, kissing his neck and then his cheek before resting his head on his shoulder, his lovers arms tightening around them. 

"Let's get back home," he told Bucky, kissing his lips sweetly before jumping on the front of the bike, kick starting it into action and driving in the direction of the Stark tower.


	3. Never rich so we were out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve's happiest days since being back in the world

*three months later* 

"Not to alarm you Buchanan soon-to-be-Rogers, but there is a Steven Rogers approaching you and an increasingly fast pace" Steve's voice drawled from the behind him. 

"Get back!" Bucky shouted, covering his eyes as he felt his lovers arms wrap around his waist. "I'm not allowed to see you, Steve" he whined pathetically as he felt him pressing soft kisses to his cheek. 

"Let's break tradition then" Steve tormented, kissing his neck as his hands roamed over his finances black suit. He listened to Bucky whine about tradition and how this was 'not the way it would'a happened back in the forties' and cursing 'modern day for allowing this bullshit' which made Steve choke out a laugh as he moved to walk in front of Bucky seeing how he still had both hands over his eyes in front of the huge window that showed the whole of New York City to them. "Baby, I would feel a lot less luckier if I didn't see your perfect blues on this fine morning" he charmed, kissing Bucky's forehead. 

"Why are you being so poetic" Bucky chortled, dropping his hands but his eyes still scrunched shut. He felt out for Steve, wrapping his arms around his broad shoulders, only then to open his eyes to look out the window as a completely, disgustingly happy smile spread across his lips and his eyes squinting shut as he felt Steve's hand cradle the back of his head. 

"I'm marrying my best friend today. I have the right to be poetic" he whispered, squeezing him before pulling away as Bucky shut his eyes again. "I can open any door in the world yet I can't open your eyes. You'll have to do it for me, sweetheart" Steve smirked. "Or else" he taunted. 

"Or else what?" Bucky giggled, running his hand up and down his metal arm. 

"Or else no sex tonight" Steve replied, his tone serious. 

"Really?" Bucky whined, his eyes still shut but more like he was trying to sleep instead of having his eyes like he was hiding from something. 

"You know so, Bucky." Steve replied, watching as Bucky huffed then took a deep breath, taking Steve's hand in his and slowly opening his eyes, his eyes raking up and down Steve's body. 

"My God" he whispered, tears forming in the corner of his eyes as Steve blushed. "Oh my God" muttered Bucky, his metal hand going to his mouth as the tears fell from his eyes and down his cheeks. Steve's white suit hugged his body incredibly well, the only other colours being his medals in red, white and blue. His hair was gelled and his blue eyes blazing in the natural like. "You look... dashing" Bucky murmured, Steve blush becoming redder as his words charmed him. 

"So do you. You look like a million bucks, Buck" Steve whispered, a smirk playing on his lips. 

Bucky chuckled before his face turned serious "Metal arm and everything?" He asked insecurely. 

"Especially that, darling" Steve told him truthfully, kissing his metal shoulder and kissing him softly. Bucky was so wrapped up in that moment and in Steve's arms that he didn't hear Bruce telling them to get ready so in that moment, Steve pulled away to kiss his forehead before whispering: "I'll see you there, baby."

"See you there," he whispered, pecking his lips before following Bruce to wait for Steve. 

The ordeal was pretty quick, Bucky forcing back his tears and pressing his lips together as Steve walked down the aisle, the music amplifying his overwhelming feelings. He took a deep breath as he looked around at the congregation. There weren't many people there, of course there weren't as they hardly knew anyone outside of SHIELD. The avengers were all sat together, looking very dapper as well as Maria and Nick who was sat by Sharon, smiling up at the alter where Bucky stood and Steve now joined with a couple other friends Steve had made outside of SHIELD. 

"Hey, buddy." Steve taunted. 

"Hi, pal" Bucky snorted, patting his bicep before smiling softly at his soon-to-be-husband. They turned to the pastor as he began to talk to them and their guests. 

The ceremony was undisturbed to everyone's joy and relief. Their vows were the original ones as neither of them wanted to stray too far from tradition and then resulting in being called 'old fashioned'. Of course Bucky cried to everyone's (except Steve's) surprise, especially as Steve slipped his ring on his right hand where he could actually feel the temperature and feeling of the black metal band on his finger. Just after the ring was on, Steve lifted his own right hand with his matching black ring on to wipe away Bucky's tears. "You're okay, Buck" he smiled softly as a 'awe' sounded from Thor's mouth followed by the creaks of the chairs to turn to stare at the God, then quiet laughter rumbling from the congregation. 

They quietened down enough for the pastor to say "You may now kiss," and then take a step back as Bucky and Steve seized each other in their grip and kiss a sweet and innocent kiss before engaging in a bone breaking hug, Bucky's quiet sniffled as he gripped his husbands suit, the whirring of his arm and the clapping, cheering and hooting (Mainly from Clint) sounding around them. "I love you so much," he told Steve. "I'm not gonna stop crying," he chuckled. 

"I love you, Bucky." The captain repeated, squeezing his husband tight and lifting him off the ground. "And I know," he laughed as they pulled away, clutching his hand as they walked down the aisle, slapping their friend hands and bantering as they left the small and intimate room. 

-•0•- 

Whines, pants and moans even before they had gotten into the room. Their lips moved feverishly against each other's, hands frantically gripping whatever they could to gain some sort of balance from the dizziness that accompanied their movement. Steve clawed his pockets as Bucky's metal hand gripped his waist and his human hand gripping his cheek. "Babe, babe, babe" Steve chanted as Bucky kissed his neck. "Fuck, lemm-lemme get the key" he gasped as he found the key card, holding it against the lock before it made a beeping sound to say it was unlocked. 

Bucky pulled away for a second to let Steve open the door for them both, taking the time to pull off his black blazer and yank off his bow tie so he was left in his pants, shirt and shoes. "Strip for me baby," Steve said lowly, sitting on the bed in his white suit with a tiny gravy mark from when he had spilt some of it down him from his meal. 

"Want me to strip?" Bucky asked, dropping his gaze to Steve's obvious bulge before pressing down on it gently, Steve's breath hitching as Bucky used his metal hand to undo his top two buttons of his shirt. 

He smirked at Steve's reaction, the slight whine that left his lips as he himself removed his clothes. "Fuck the stripping, I'm not waiting any longer" Steve growled, standing up and ripping Bucky's shirt so buttons flew everywhere, their bare chests colliding as their teeth clinked together from their heated kiss. 

They pulled away long enough to pull off their pants and underwear, socks and shoes before Bucky jumped onto the large, honeymoon suite bed and opened his legs for Steve, tugging a couple time at his hard cock. The captain walked towards the bed, leaning between his husbands legs and rubbing against him lightly, the tiniest amount of friction making their breathing quicker. Steve smiled down at Bucky, pushing some of the hair that fell out of place and then leaning down to kiss at the stretched, pink skin where his metal arm met his shoulder. He lifted his hips slightly as his hand moved between their bodies and down to Bucky's balls. 

With a gentle squeeze, he went past them and pushed two fingers into his hole. "God, Stevie" he hummed. 

"You prepped? Already?" He asked, picking his head from Bucky's shoulder before kneeling up to look down at the sweaty man. He nodded, his hair sweaty already and his pupils blown. 

"Please, Steve. No teasing, I don't want that" he begged, his voice sounding insecure. "I had a bad dream last night." And that was all he had to say for Steve to understand and nod, kissing his lips gently. 

"I'm going to look after you, sweetheart. I'm not going to hurt you like they did, I promise" he told him, kissing his jaw then his neck. 

"I know, I know. You aren't them but please, I'm hard and needy and horny." Bucky complained, using hand motions to further his point, gaining a loud laugh from Steve as he kneeled up again, Bucky falling further down the bed. Steve's hand went straight to Bucky's dick, his hand sliding up and down quickly, moans erupting from his lips. "Love you, love you" Bucky hummed. 

"Love you too," he smiled, grabbing his own dick and teasing it around his hole. He hummed at the feeling, taunting himself and Bucky, tugging on his lovers cock as Bucky opened his eyes, giving him a nod of reassurance. He pushed in slowly, watching a breath exhale from Bucky, a hum and a smile reaching his face. 

"Fucking love your cock," Bucky muttered, his hands reaching up to Steve's shoulders and pulling him down which forced Steve to push him in all at once. Bucky hissed in pain as Steve groaned from the pleasure. 

"How much?" 

"Oh, fuck. Such a good cock, so big" he hummed almost as if he was admiring it. Steve slowly pulled backwards, leaning up from Bucky's constricting embrace so he could move faster. Bucky whimpered loudly and tipped his head back, his eyes clenching shit and his hands trembling. "St-Steve," he gasped, another thrust from Steve pulled a high pitched sound from him as Steve moaned lowly. 

Steve hummed as he thrusted, Bucky's lips kissing up Steve's neck, his eyes darting all over his lovers face before another thrust pleasure him enough for his eyes to roll back and a long, drawn out moan gasping from his throat. Steve slowed down his thrusts, circling his hips to press his lips against Bucky's, their kisses making loud sucking sounds in the room as their bodies moved in unison. 

Steve grabbed Bucky's human hand, placing it above his head and lacing their fingers together and squeezing his hand as he mumbled into his mouth. "Oh, God. I'm... fuck" he groaned, slamming his cock deeper into Bucky's wet, hot body. Bucky wailed, his metal hand clenching around the bed sheets. 

Steve's eyes shut close and his eyebrows furrowed, his hair falling down to his forehead slightly. Bucky's sucked kisses to his lips, his head coming off of the pillow to grip Steve's jaw to press their lips harder together. His head fell back, his voice clicking as he held back a whine, Steve's forehead leaning against his as Bucky's thighs tightened around Steve's hips, his ankles shaking. 

"Mm, my L-leg needs to be further-," Bucky got cut off as Steve grabbed his leg and hoisted it over his shoulder, thrusting fast enough for Bucky to feel a burn from the stretch, his toes clenching as Steve ground into Bucky, a load moan erupting from both their throats. Bucky's hips buckled up, the tip of his cock brushing over Steve's abs. 

"You're back, you're here. Thank god you are here. A treasure, my treasure, m-my Bucky" he gasped, Bucky whining and shivering as Steve sucked kisses to his jaw line. 

"Fuck, Steve!" Bucky half sobbed, his muscles clenching, his body fluttering around his cock, "sa-say my name" he begged, watching as Steve lowered his head to his ear and chanting "Bucky" with every thrust. Bucky gasped, his thigh tightening around Steve's thin hips, his other leg tensing over the captains shoulder and his hands making quick work of sliding down Steve's torso and to his arse, squeezing them as his body ached. "Steve, I'm gonna come." He cried. 

Steve pulled on Bucky's greasy hair, his hand moving to palm at Bucky's groin, causing him to cry out again. "Come for me, sweetheart." He said lowly, feeling Bucky's body clench around him, his hips humping to meet with his thrusts. 

Steve looked down at Bucky whose jaw had dropped, his eyes clenched shut and his head tilted back into the pillow and his face flushed. Steve moaned, sweat dripping down his spine and a drip falling from his jawline to Bucky's neck. Bucky grabbed Steve by the back of his head, his mouth open as he hit Steve's lips so he could tongue him as he felt his thrusts pick up and Steve's balls slapping loudly against his arse. 

A low muffled shout came from Bucky's lips, his cock spurting over their bodies, Steve's body twitching as his breath got caught in his mouth, "fuck" he breathed out as Bucky looked deep into his eyes, his body jolting with Steve's quickening thrusts. "Fuck, fuck" he shouted, his hip snapping against Bucky as he came hard and fast inside of him. 

Steve collapsed against Bucky's chest, both men grunting and gasping for breath. "I-I have never come like that before" Bucky panted, his hands cradling his husbands head gently. Steve took a deep breath, his heart still pumping in his chest as he looked up at Bucky. "You okay?" He asked. 

"I'm perfect" he replied, shutting his eyes as he held on to Bucky, his hands rubbing over his pecs as he kissed his chest lovingly. "We should clean up," he whispered, sitting up and smiling down at him, holding out his hands for Bucky, pulling him towards their bathroom as crazed giggles left their lips.

When they were done, both men laying on the bed and holding onto each other, Bucky's head level with Steve's and their hands and legs linked intimately. Bucky had fallen asleep a while ago, leaving Steve resting on his metal arm with a soft, fond smile before kissing his cheek and then shutting his eyes. 

"'Till the end of the line, husband" he smiled.


End file.
